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Summary of Question:	Want A Non-Alcohol Wedding; Folks Don't
Category:	Sikh Practices
Date Posted:	Saturday, 2/28/2004 10:53 PM MST

Hi, I am going to get married in about a year. We are having a reception and we have a problem regarding drinking. My family does not drink, nor do I nor does the brides side of the family. But my parents and siblings still want booze at the party because our relatives do drink. They are afraid that people will not dance unless they are drinking. What should I do? I can not stand alcohol, I cant even stand the smell. How am I supposed to dance at my own reception with the atmosphere of drunks. The problem is that my parents are paying for it, and I cannot force anything on them. It brings me to tears that they wont respect my strictness against alcohol. I have to decide if I will take a year off from school so I can save up to pay for it, and then I can have it the way I want to. Please tell me what I should do, I dont want to ruin my special night for the sake of having some drunks on our video. I even tried to comprimise by saying that we can have a minimum amount of alcohol but thats not enough.

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Sat Siri Akaal. Your wedding is for you and your bride, first and foremost. It is not so you both can be surrounded by drunkards. And contrary to popular opinion, it is not for the parents. Draw a line and insist that there be no alcohol. If the drinkers want alcohol, they can meet at a bar after the reception. You could also require guests to bring their own, which may be another way to discourage drinking. I know what you mean, I am the only non-drinker in my family and dislike some family events for obvious reasons.

You know, the wedding doesn't have to be a major affair. If you end up paying for it yourself then tell your folks it will be limited to close family and friends and let them hold a separate celebration while you two honeymoon. You could also threaten to elope... If they do not respect you on this, what else will you face down the line? You have the support of Gursikhs everywhere. I wish you success. Guru ang sang,
-DKK