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Summary of Question:	Marriage Ceremony Or Something Else?
Category:	Sikh Practices
Date Posted:	Monday, 8/19/2002 10:08 AM MDT

Greetings

I am very thrilled to see such a good forum which provides answers to all the curious minds.
I have been searching through this forum to find answers for my queries. Let me explain you my dilemma.
I have had few opportunities to attend ?Sikh? marriages. Being a Proud Sikh, I was honored to be present at the sacred occasions. However the ceremonies left me in not only doubt about few ?rituals? but also left many unanswered practices.
Marriage, that took over two days to complete was full of ?materials? ?fashion? ?Shagans? but not enough ?SIKHI? religion essence or something close to it.
The ceremony which took more than 2 days to prosper had little touch and blessing of ?Guru Granth Sahib?. Even at the time of Anand Karaj, only 2 hours were spend obtaining blessings while just ?mehandi? and other ?shagans? took 3 hours in preparation only. I simply thought of this situation as a big show for cameras, and spectators. I was also told that this Glamours show is very popular in almost all marriages. I am very confused by this. I thought Anand Karaj was a sacred union of hunsband and wife with true blessings of our most loving Guru ji. I have significant knowledge of Anand Karaj but no clue about ?Shagans? that take place before and after Anand Karaj. what is the significant of those ?Shagans?? What is Reception?s significant? Where people not only dance but dance under the influence of liquor, and some meaningless and shameful songs. Where is sikhi in all this??????
And Am I the only one thinking about these rituals, and parties that take place before and after Anand Karaj as being very useless and sheer act of showoff. I was puzzeled by the response I got when I questioned these rituals. No one was able to explain anything except, ?They have been doing it, we have to do this?
I feel very restless ever since I have experienced this ?Darama?.
Your input will be very much appreciated.
Guru Fateh
TSK
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Reply
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Dear one, you are so correct.

You asked about the "Shagan". Shagan is either: a gift or a ceremony. A Shangan has no religoius or spiritual connotation. The ceremonies that you referred to: Mehndi, parties, ring exchange etc, were instituted to introduce the girl and boy to each other in a social way. As they used to be strangers to each other, they were given opportunities to meet and touch and mingle and enjoy.

It appears that so much money and show done with little regard for guiding this new couple to their spiritual strength is quite a poverty.

Guru Ram Das created a simple wedding ceremony for his marriage to the daughter of Guru Amar Das, Bibi Bhani Kaur ji. The ceremony is the basis of our focus on Guru and Sadh Sangat as the supports in our married lives.

The SGPC has created guidelines for Anand Karaj. All the events outside the Gurdwara are not necessary however, they are done for show or for social pressure or for fun.

God bless you, SKKK