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Summary of Question:	Coping With Life Situations
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 5/22/2007 3:47 PM MDT

hello. i am here to seek help emotionally and mentally. i am a college student and beginning to think i am suffering from depression. school wise everything is fine, i study well although my grades are pretty low. i do not think it is from my emotional instability. i have recently been betrayed by my whole core group of friends. other people put themselves into the group, took over, and now they're badmouthing me and gossiping about me. it bothers me because before the gossip happened i kept away from everyone. i isolated myself to avoid future issues. but i never would have imagined that withdrawing and staying away from them would still lead to problems. i was merely minding my own business, working and going to school, and caught these people constantly saying things about me. i confronted many but they only ran away and gave me no answers. i am trying to be the better person and let go because i do not want bad karma, but it still bothers me that they got away with it. another problem is i am being neglected by my own family members. many act as if they don't know me anymore because they have a girlfriend or boyfriend. things in my household aren't too pleasant. i have a sister-in-law who does not pull her own weight, she does not cook or clean, only cooks food for herself and goes to work. when we tell her she still does not do anything so that leaves the responsibility up to me. i find myself coming home from college, cooking for my family, and rushing to work. i suffer from verbal abuse and putdowns by my family also. that was the limit and now i find myself dwelling on everything and crying. i even cry myself to sleep. i am starting to think it is because i do not go to the gurdwara anymore. the reason why i do not go is because i become angered with people gossiping there and only going to socialize. i can't visit if there are people there to talk bad about me and others. so as you can tell i keep to myself alot. i don't know how mi went from a sociable person to one who does not enjoy the presence of people. i enjoy my pets company instead.

what i want to do is start praying. i just do not know what prayers to do and how. i'm not fluent in punjabi, so i think there are prayers i can print out in english. praying is my only hope. i want to keep close to god i just do not know how. thank you for your help.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. Your situation sounds miserable, I'm so sorry. But the most important thing you've said is that you want to "keep close to God." So, here's what I would suggest -- not that it's going to solve everything, but at least it's a first step: Get a copy of Peace Lagoon. This is a book with all the main prayers in English. Read Japjji Sahib and Jaap Sahib every morning. These are important tools to bring life into perspective and remind us who we really are, and that all relationships are temporary. (Read Anand Sahib whenver you "want to be happy" -- that is its power) We can't control what other people say and do, all we can control is our response. Another thing that is harder to do, but works wonders - really -- is for you to send love and blessings and FOGIVENESS to all of the people who have hurt you in any way. This is not an idle platitude, I assure you, forgiveness is the key to open the door to your own peace of mind and happiness. REad REhiras in the evening and Kirtan Sohila right before bedtime. Oh, and by the way, are you the only other person who can cook for your whole family? Finally, I always recommend prayers to the "Lord of Miracles" Guru Ram Das using the Shabd, Dhan, Dhan Ram Das Gur -- which you can get on CD from Ancient Healing Ways or Spirit Voyage. (www.a-healing.com or www.spiritvoyage.com ) God bless you, keep up and you will be kept up! SP