Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	Insight - Love On Net
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 7/09/2003 10:28 AM MDT

Hi, I never spoke about this to anyone, but i think you may benefit from it. Please just read and think about it, from your mind. I met someone under same circumstances as you...i never had a bf, didnt desire one. We started talking, then on the phone and then we met up, over a period of 1 year. He came to see me, we were in different states. He was really nice and sweet. And honestly, we hooked up immediately, cuz it was like we knew each other forever before there was anything physical. BUT *** Use Caution *** i realize that i definitely put myself in jeaopardy by meeting someone alone, granted that i knew him for a yr, but it was behind a screen, i was lucky that he turned out to be the sweetheart and we were each other's first love. I use past tense, because we arent together now, he changed and kept thing inside, and i probably did things to get him upset, but again..he kept it all inside and after being together over 2 years, we sort of gave up.Sometimes i wish he would just call me and tell me how he feels. But thats my story, yours could be same or different. My parents were involved, meaning both his and mine knew about the other. But marriage wasn't an issue yet because we both are in school, we just finished our undergrad, and have a long way to go before we set up professionally. I don't think waherguru will be "mad" at you for your actions..hes deen dyal. BUT you really need to take things step by step...meet up in person, in a public place, maybe take a close friend or ask him to bring a friend too, make it a group date. Bottom line is, only YOU can consider your safety and your love and your desires before anything else. Don't rely on someone else to take care of you. Meaning the guy...look out for yourself..meet him several times....goodness...marriage is a lifetime commitment..sounds exciting..butits a full time jobb...like a bitter sweet melody & YOU DO marry a family not only a person. As other mentioned...consider his habits...my guy took up drinking and i didn't like it..and he didn't want to quit. Anyway, i won't bore you with details, but i hope i have sent my message across...if you were to ask me, should u pursue this, i would say yes but with caution. Don't toy with "love", dont be overwhelmed, and think about ONLY yourself for now...may waheguru bless you.

DONT LIE TO YOUR PARENTS...in our cultures parents come after god. dont cheat them (or anyone else...i.e urself)
=o)

**********
REPLY
***********
Sat SIri Akaal. Thanks for your post. Where do folks get this idea that Waheguru will be 'mad' at us for a regular human error? Siri Guru Granth says that "despite all my errors, I am still yours, O Lord." It's not about God forgiving one for making a mistake, it's about the person forgiving him/herself. A sincere effort to forgive internally and a sincere promise to LEARN from one's errors is what God looks for. By that alone, all is forgiven!
Guru ang sang,
-DKK