Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	Re: Needy, Attachment, Reliance On Others
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Thursday, 11/24/2005 1:19 PM MST

Thank you for your quick response :)

Perhaps I should give a few more details. The person I feel an attachment to used to be a close friend. We drifted and then rekindled the friendship - and we finally admitted the connection between us. When we share intimate moments she confesses that she has strong feelings for me and I have confessed the same. But the rest of the time, I am the last on her list of priorities. We agreed to be friends and enjoy our connection and see what could develop but I get a lot of neglect from her.

I am utterly confused. And it is not like I should feel this way. I am healthy in mind and body (although there is a karma attached to me that I struggle with), I am self confident, and a worthy partner.

Is there anything I can do to learn to be more inwardly dependent? I try to do Japp saihib when I can and I do Baintee Chaupai regularly and try to meditate regularly. It helps but my heart still aches. I do not want to pursue a relationship or friendship based on neediness. This person and I have a strong connection and some sort of karmic bond but the signals keep getting crossed and I fear that my attachment and need of her may ruin things. And if it doesn't work out, I am very afraid of being devestated.

---reply

There are a lot of contridictions in what you are saying. "I have good self-confidence...I am needy and attached. She has strong feelings for me...she gives me a lot of neglect. You are right...don't base a relationship on neediness. She may be neglecting you because she sees your neediness and that turns her off. The woman wants the man to be strong...not insensitive, but inwardly strong. I think I would advise you to cool this relationship and work on your self. Do your path, exercise, meditate. Do other activities that make you feel good and capable. Give this relationsip some space. By working on your self, you win so matter what happens. Blessings. GTKK