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Summary of Question:	Marriage
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 12/10/2002 9:18 AM MST

I have write a paper on marriage in Sikhism. SO i need to know when is it okay for couple to get divorced? what are the responsibilities of each in a happy marriage and why is adultery wrong? In other words, why is it not okay for a married person to committ adultery? I need some reference from SGGS. Thank you

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Sat Siri Akal.

If you want to understand Sikh Marriage, study and meditate on the Lavan written by Guru Ram Das for his own wedding. There are four rounds of the Lavan, and each round gives spiritual instruction to the Sikhs about how to relate with God and Guru. The foundation of a Sikh marriage is that a Sikh lives a spiritual dicsipline in order to grow his or her consciousness and lives to obey and serve the Will of God. A marriage is ultimatley a union of two souls where - through the spiritual discipline and surrender to God's Will, the two become one. It is a spiritual practice. The Siri Guru Granth Sahib teaches the dangers of worldy love - where love of spouse and children prevent one from experiencing the Divine. So a Sikh marriage is ideally not a marriage based on wordly love, but a relationship where each partner inspires, supports and encourages the other in their spiritual journey and in living their destiny.

As for divorce - where one partner breaks his or her committment before the Guru to the extent that trust and communication are irrevocably broken - then divorce may be unavoidable. The best is for a couple married before the Guru to work through their problems, no matter what. The saying is, "May your heads roll but your hands not let go of each other." Unto death - you are committed to being together. But the committment requires two people and if one person fails in that committment utterly - such as through infidelity - then divorces happen.

Sexuality between two people creates a very powerful bond. That is the bond through whih new life comes into the world. It is part of God's creativity and, as such, must be held in absolute reverence and respect. Adultery is something that happens due to the poison of lust. For a moment's passion, generation can be affected and wounded. The trust that comes with sexual intimacy is the primary bound upon which familes, communities and socities are built. When adultery happens, it hurts people and it undermines those bonds and the stability of the community. The Sikh marriage is a spiritual practice where two souls become one and trust is an integral and inherent part of that process. Adultery destroys trust between a couple and prevents that merging from happening.

I hope that this is some help for your paper.

All love,

GPK