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Summary of Question:	Love Vs Family
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 9/15/2004 5:39 AM MDT

Dear one,

First of all, there are many possibilities for marriage....there is not "the only one" for you. There are many good partners that you can grow and mature and find contentment and happiness. Most important is to be content with yourself and your life.

You are young, so, slow down and take your time to reflect and choose wisely. I am not saying that you must have an "arranged marriage". However, life and relationships are quite different after marriage.

Presantly, you are emotionally involved and this will cloud your clarity. Have you ever heard the expression, "love is blind"?

My advise to you is to slow down and test this guy out. Testing him is, " get "out of the bed or cool down your romantic expressions with him". Forget about all the Hindi movies and love conquers all Western movies. Marriage takes a lot of committment and hard work whether it is a love marriage or an arranged marriage.

Study successful couples and take notes. Put your energy in evolving yourself into a happy life that does not depend on any guy. Love yourself, read from Siri Guru Granth Sahib" (in English) and take a few years before considering marriage to anyone. The choice does NOT need to be between love and family when you look and live more deeply.

God bless you,

SKKK



Hi. I’m a 24 year old Sikh woman. I’m now at that age where family keeps
asking me about marriage etc. They want to start looking for a ‘suitable
boy’ for me. I am at the youngest of three, both my sister and brother are married to someone of same religion/caste. I want more than that though.
I’ve been seeing this boy fora year now and I’m in love with him, he knows everything about me and loves me.
I truly believe he is my soul mate. He is very caring and loving, ALWAYS
puts me first and wants to get married. Only thing is he is not Sikh. He is
mixed (Christian/Hindu) His mum Filipino and dad Guyanese. They know about
us and are happy, will support us no matter what, but my family don’t. He
sent me roses last year for valentines day and mum asked where came from. I
said this boy that I like and the first thing she asked was what religion he
was. She wasn’t happy and told me to forget it and him. I tried, but I love
him so much and I don’t know what to do.... I want to marry him as i know he
is the best guy out there for me, the religion thing doesn’t bother him, he
knows all about Sikhism and even said our children could be Sikh. He is the
most amazing guy and exactly the kind of son in law any parent would want
for their daughter, someone that will look after them, care for them, love
them. Love Vs Family.... I’m so so torn and don’t know what to do or how to
tell my family. I just feel like dying. I think my mum may come around but
my dad won’t. My sister supports me as she has had trouble with her
husband/in laws but said i need to face the consequences too if i marry him.
What do I do? why can’t my family be happy that i’m happy????? How can i
possibly marry someone they chose when i’m in love with someone else? Thats
not fair on me or him. Do I Stay unhappy and please my parents or stay with my soul mate and hurt everyone around me??? Please advise...

Thank you