Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	Paat Recommendation Needed
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 5/26/2003 3:49 AM MDT

Sat Sri Kal,

I am writing to inquire about paat and to seek assurance, as I have read some questions on relationships and I think that some of them have been answered brilliantly!

My situation: I want to marry this guy who I DON'T "madly" love! I want to marry him because he's genuine, loving, caring, mature, sensible, and very much sensitive to and in-touch with my needs. Sometimes I think he knows me more than I know myself. He's always there when I need someone and I believe that he'll be a GREAT husband. We have all the elements in the right place, except for the crazy love on my part (HE loves me ALOT though, and he shows it through his respect for me, his patience with him, and all the other gestures and actions!)

BUT my parents do not like him, as they've always envisioned an arrange marriage for me, and also because they dont believe in the whole package, they think that I've been fed lines! Plus they do not think he's "prince charming"! They are finding enough physical fault in him, as they think with my looks I could do way better.

I know my parents would eventually let me marry him, but they will go through alot of pain along the process (which will most likely last for a good year, and perhaps afterwards too!). SO, is it reasonable for me to make my family upset just because I think I'll have a wonderful marriage (even though I am not head over heels over him)? I just BELIEVE that we'd be really happy and I would grow to love this person more than anything in the world. So, is causing pain to my family over a SOUL-FRIEND the right thing to do? Or should I believe that I could always find (or more like my parents could find) another guy like him (as my parents put it)?

Could you also suggest some paat that I could do to give me a peace of mind, I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. And also a paat which I could do to ask for forgiveness from god, in case I end up hurting my family. Thank you.

********
REPLY
********
Sat Siri Akaal. In my opinion, if you think you two would be happy together, then go for it. Sometimes love builds slowly; one doesn't always need to feel passionately about someone (right away) to make a marriage work. Perhaps your parents need to learn that it's YOUR life, not theirs that is involved.

That said, read Sukhmani Sahib faithfully every day for 40 days. That's an excellent paath for calming and developing neutral mind. Guru ang sang,
-DKK