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Summary of Question:	Marriage And Kids
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Friday, 11/18/2005 7:11 PM MST

I'll make this quick. From reading some posts I have interpretated that marraige and having kids is a very important aspect of Sikhism. Yeah, well, I dont really want to get married. I am really young (16) to be thinking about this, but I cant help but think about it for my future. I mean, in school i have to take this course and I have to talk about what I want in the future, including marraige. After about two seconds of thinking, i was pretty sure that I dont ever want to get married. I am still sure about it. But, I do want to have kids. But not the natural way, I would rather adopt. So I dont want to get married, but I do want to have kids. Does this make me a "bad sikh"? Is it againist our values? Regardless, of the answer I dont think I would change my mind, but I was just curious. Again, the question is would it be considered a taboo to have kids, but not be married as according to the religon?Thank you.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. At 16 it's great to be thinking about the future, but it's also important to keep in mind that goals and desires can change as we get older, and that's as it should be. So, what you think you want at this time is not necessarily a permanent thing. I believe that no one should get married who doesn't want to. Yes, the Sikh way of life encourages marriage, but doesn't demand it. But, children need to have both parents, so without a husband (I assume you're a girl?) or even if a man wants to have children, but without a wife, as commendable as adoption is, in terms of providing love and care for children, what kind of home is it with just one parent? If you want to help children, but not get married (and who knows if you'll change your mind in the next few years) then go volunteer at an orphanage, or some teen center, or at a nursery school. Or go into social work as a career. Some kids know from an early age exactly what they want to do and that remains the same, but for others, it changes.Give yourself a chance and get a well rounded education, and more important than anything else, develop your own intuitive guidance by meditating every day. And reading the banis. There is a book called Peace Lagoon which has all the banis, plus more, in English, so you can understand what the Gurus teach us about life. And reading them will actually sharpen your mind, and open your heart and soul to God's will --- and when we are tuned in to God's will, our highest destiny is revealed, and then we can be happy! Getting married will not necessarily bring happiness, nor will staying single! Happiness comes from within, and for that, you have to learn access your own inner awareness. Keep in touch, and let us know in a couple of years how you feel about all of this! Blessings, SP