Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	Getting Over A Bad Affair
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 11/06/2001 1:45 PM MST

dear sikhnet.My name is Raj kaur....im gonna tell u a painfull story of me.ok

I WAS 14 YEARS OLD WHEN I ENTERED HIGH SCHOOL.THEN I MET THIS GIR, WHO WAS 2 YEARS OLDR THEN ME.WE BECAME REALLY GOOD FRIENDS.SHE WAS KIND OF A SLUT U CAN CAL..WELL SHE AND I STARED TO GO OUT..I WENT OUT WITH RAJ U CAN CALL AND SHE WENT OUT WITH HIS FRIEND.WE GO TOGATHER EVERYDAY AT LUNCH FROM SCHOOL. AND THEY WOULD DROP US OFF BY THE END OF LUNCH PERIOD.WELL 1 MONTHS PASSED BY.HE BRING ME GIFTS AND TELL ME THAT WE ARE GONNA GET MARRY, AND WRITE MY NAME ON HIS WRIST WITH SAFTY PIN.I THOUGHT HE REALLY LOVES ME.I WAS A GET THEN AND HE WAS 20 YEAS OLD..THEN HE LEFT ME..THEN I BECAME FRIENDS WITH HIS ANOTHER FRIEND.THEN I WENT OUT WITH HIM.BUT I TOLD HIS FRIEND THAT I MISS HIM AND SOMETIME I CRY FOR RAJ FRONT OF HIS FRIEND.BUT FINNALY MY PARENTS FOUND OUT THAT I WAS GOING OUT.BUT NOT WITH RAJ THEY FOUND OUT THAT I WAS GOING TO WITH HIS FRIENDS.IT BEEN 3 YEARS NOW SINCE PARENTS FOUND OUT.I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,IM IN LOVE WITH RAJ STILL.I MISS HIM.BUT HE HAS A CHINESS GIRLFRIND NOW.... NOT LOVE..MY DAD DON'T EVEN

TALK TO ME.AND IM ONLY 17 YEARS OLD..OK HEAR MY QUESTION NOW. WHAT IF HE WANTS ME SHOULS I GO BACK TO HIM.? JUST GIVE ME SOME ADVICE.MY LIFE IS PREETY MUSSED UP..THANKS PLZ REPLY.WHAT SOULD I DO.I CAME FROM INDIA 7 YEARS AGO.AND U KNOW I OSTMY SELF RESPECT.I WASN'T LIKE THAT .IT JUST HTE PEOPLE I MET.AND IM PRETTY SURE THAT AFTER HIGH SCHOOL IM GETTING MARRY.MY PARENTS ALREADY TOLD ME THAT IM NOT GOING TO COLLAGE.AND I REALLY WANT OT GO....I FEEL SO ANGRY AT MY PARENTS.THEY DON'T EVEN TAKE ME ANYWHERE.SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO KILL MY SELF OR RUN AWAY....RAJ DOES'T TALK TO ME .I HAVN'T TALK TO HIM FOR 2 YEARS...PLZ JUST HEPL ME .HELP ME TO DECIDE WHAT OT DO NEXT WITH MY.SHOULD I GET MARRY IF MY PARENTS FIND A BOY..??//..PLZ WRITE BACK...THANK U

*********
REPLY
*********

Sat Siri Akaal. This Raj boy is hardly worth your effort. He clearly doesn't love you with the deep and abiding love required for a life together. He wants it easy and you gave it to him. So forget him, your mind is attached to him and you have no self respect because part of you KNOWS BETTER. Well this should tell you something about him then, shouldn't it? If he was a good guy then he wouldn't have used you and you'd have your self-respect.

Your parents may try to arrange a marriage for you so that you don't have more mess-ups (that's how they see it). In your father's eyes, you have brought shame on his name and family. I don't agree that you have, but I am not your father.

It is time for you to conciously choose to get your life together. If you really want to go to college, then start with a 2-year community college (run by the state, they often have financial aid packages and their tuition is generally not high). Get yourself a job and start saving the money for course tuition. Don't expect to have things handed to you or done for you; this is not the way in USA. As part of your choice to live in dignity and self-respect, practice Naam Simran daily. If you have someone who will do it with you, then that's even better. Your mind will stabilize and you will find your feelings for Raj fade. And, you will find that your ability to make wise choices increases. Good luck.
Guru rakha,
-DKK