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Summary of Question:	Re: Female With Singh As A Name?
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Sunday, 4/07/2002 12:11 AM MDT

The reply for that question - leaves me with doubts about Sikhism

Sure it doesnt matter about male or female but when you said "Kaur means princess, pure and simple. Kaur becomes part of your name, period." IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. Why are we princesses, and why are men lions. If its equal, why arent we lions too.
And why do we have to take the last name of our husbands. Why do men have to be lions and women princesses, it still makes no sense.
"Mai Bhago is but one example of a Kaur who acted like a Singh!" A KAUR who ACTED like a SINGH - Singh and Kaur should be the same thing :( I don't know why this angers me so much.
I don't want to be a princess. I don't want to be Guru jee's princess, I want to be Guru jee's lioness.
Sure it's not a big deal and it doesn't matter but to me it does.
The Gurus sure did see men and women as equal, but why were men and women given those seperate titles, why should women use Kaur "just because?" I know its "jo gur kahe sohee pal mano" but Im lost and this doesnt make sense to me.... Just thinking of it makes me feel inferior and more angry, I don't know why

This does not have to be posted, I just felt like letting my pain out in response to the other post.

rab rakkha
-nameless
{REPLY} I think your question is important, and I'd like to suggest another way of looking at the words that disturb you. First of all, I think we can agree that men and women are different. We are made by God not only with distinct physical attributes, but our emotional and psychological make up is very different, and it's supposed to be. The attitudes and approaches to life and its problems that we take as women is different from the way men perceive things. It does not make women "less" than men. on the contrary, Guru Nanak was very clear about how valuable Woman is (Bandh Jamiaa...)to everyone! if you want to use the name Singh, go ahead. But trying to be identical to man is to reject your unique "Shakti" power! We women have much more capacity -- though we may not have as much physical muscular strength (though some may!)
It is definitely true that Khalsa "knows no gender" -- and therefore, Khalsa as a last name should help solve your problem. I think the problem lies in your definition of words. For instance, to me Kaur - "Princess," means a woman of grace and majesty and power and does not in any way shape or manner make her inferior to man! On the contrary! (did it ever occur to you that a lion is an animal, and a princess is a human? Just a thought!) As for taking the last name of your husband, it's not a legal requirement in the United States -- you can take any name you want to here. I hope this helps a little. Blessings, Shakti Parwha Kaur Khalsa