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Summary of Question:	Confused
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Sunday, 2/09/2003 12:35 AM MST

two days ago my cousin brother called me told if can stay at his house for two days as he had to go for some urgent work. i reached his home around 9.15 pm .

as after freshing up i was sitting in there drawing room and watching TV.
then cousin's wife came to me with a bottle of wisky and offered me a drink.
a said her i drink alone she said ok she will give me company.
after taking two drinks she told me to cut her hair as i run a beauty parlour.
i said here she wont look with hair cut. she said ok just trim them i said ok
. after some time she came and told me to have sex with her. she started removing cloths i told what is she doing ia said to i wont have sex with her.
she i wont sex with her she screame and call all the neighbours that i am trying to sexuly harrase her . i have no option but to have sex with her.
i am very disturbed after this please help me.


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Sat Siri Akal.


God bless you - what an awful situation to have experienced. Sexuality is a very powerful and sacred energy and whenever any person - man or woman - disrespects that energy and forces another person to do something against their heart - that it truly terrible.

There are some people who would consider what happened to you as a "rape." At the minimum, it was blackmail and completely unjust. Men can physically force women into sexual acts. Women can emotionally manipulate men into sexual acts. The damage is there in both scenarios. So first - understand that your distress over this is completely understandable. The emotional manipulation of your cousin's wife could qualify as a male "rape."

You need to ask yourself - what do you need to do to restore your dignity? What happened has damaged your relationship with yourself and with your cousin's family. There is no easy solution to this. But you want to do something so that this situation does not occur again.

I would recommend finding someone - either a close friend, a minister, a confidant, or even a therapist - who can help you sort out all the feelings you have about this situation and help you come to some decisions about what steps you need to take. What I can say with certainty is that ignoring this or trying to pretend it never happened is only going to cause you more difficulty in the long run. You need to find a safe way to talk with someone. And you need to decide what you are going to do about what happened.

May God and Guru bless you with peace and healing. My prayers are with you.

All love,

GPK