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Summary of Question:	My Hubby Is Not Fair To Me
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 10/17/2005 10:13 PM MDT

Ever since I got married, my hubby never show love and passion. He is so selfish and stingy with me. With his friends and family members, he is soo nice. He always give priority to his family who are in India. All his earnings goes to them. He is supporting his two married brothers. One of them is with two kids. Once I talked to my hubby and suggested him to find a job for the brothers and he got mad at me. He said I will always be there for them. I can leave you and not my family. He got me wrong. I explained to him everything and he is so sturbborn. We have been married for 3 years now. Would you believe that he had never ever buy me a suit or any gifts. Even when I am sick, he doest bring me to the doctor. He would give me a reason that medicine in USA is too expensive. Lately I have been complaning of stomach ache and all he did was , buy me an Aspirin from 99 cents store and ask me to take that. BUT whenever his brother, mother , father or any anyone in the family complains of pain he would tell them to go and see the Best doctor and not to worry about money. That really hurts me. Only both of us live here in CA. I have never ever felt his love. I have talked to him so many times and he never changed. Before marriage he also promise to teach me Kirtan and Paath, but in three years, sad to say I learnt nothing except for dirty words he tells me which I never heard before. He doesnt allow me to work. We live in a rent house. Sometimes I get so fed-up. I feel like killing myself. I also talked to him about getting divorced, and he said I'm not a Bastard that I would do that. He is also concern what people would say. I told him straight forward that I am not happy with him and want him to leave me and he refused. PLease tell me what should I do. There are lot more thing to share but I will stop here . Is there anyway I can talk to someone on the phone?

(REPLY) Sat Nam. This sounds terrible. I am so sorry for your situation. Why did your husband marry you? Have you asked him that recently? It sounds like spousal abuse to me, and you should not tolerate it. If you do not have children, then I don't see why you can't get a job so that you can build some economic independence. Since you live in California, I suggest that you look up in the phone book for Social Services, and find out what is available in free professional counseling. Meanwhile, start reciting the SoPurkhs (from Rehiras) eleven times a day and pray for your husband to be a righteous, saintly man and husband. MayGod bless you and Guru give you courage and wisdom. SP