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Summary of Question:	Picked On Because Of Hair
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Friday, 3/14/2003 8:06 PM MDT

sat-sir-akal

i am a 16 year old girl in th uk.i recently changed schools and at my new school i get picked on by about 8 girls(white)because of my upperlip hair.i do have a lot of hair on my upperlip and it does look like a mustache!!!!but my parents are totally against hair removal.i have read some of your replies and they say that i should be proud of my hair and that it is a gift of god and it should be respected and that it is there for a purpose,i do agree with that but sometimes i do feel ashamed of my hair and i feel like getting rid of it and i really dont want to get rid of it,because i really love the sikh values.so ,is there anything that i can do to improve my self-confidence,like a path?and is there any path that will stop the girls from picking on me?because there is no point in explaining to them about the sikh religion because they are very narrow-minded and mean and stupid(sorry about the language).oh,plus,i have a really horrible temper and so is there any path to reduce that?and will the girls that pick on me be forgiven by god?i really dont want them to be because they really hurt me!(emotionally)
please help!
thank you

(REPLY) Sat Nam. I'm not going to answer the question you have asked, but rather suggest that you consult a gynacologist and see if there is an imbalance in your hormones. You may need to supplement the Estrogen in your body, to counteract the Testosterone that I would guess has caused the growth of hair on your upper lip. I certainly can't give you medical advice, but I strongly suggest you seek medical explanation. As for the girls at school, making fun of you is cruel and mean, and yet, if you want to really live up to being a Gursikh you will forgive them, because they are just plain ignorant. It is "narrow minded stupid people" who need to be educated!I don't think it should be impossible to inform them that your religion forbids you to cut hair on any part of the body. If you are strong and courageous, and non-reactive to their picking on you, rather than lose your temper, try to find a way to educate them without making it a personal confrontation. I think you might consider something in writing, sent to each of these girls individually -perhaps mailed to their homes, if you can get the addresses, with a brochure -- if you can find one - possibly one of the Gurdwaras has something listing the requirements of a Sikh - or you could print out something from the SikhNet website. Search for "hair" until you find something "official" that lists the things that Sikhs are required to do, and not do. One of the best Shabds for self-confidence is Jaap Sahib by Guru Gobind Singh. Definitely recite it every day! For controlling your temper, that's a big challenge, but if you consciously decide you want to stay calm, then get into the habit of breathing slowly, long and deep, before you speak! And meditate in the morning before you go to school. And throughout the day, keep chanting silently to yourself: Ang Sang Wahe Guru --because this will remind you that God is literally in every cell of your body, every fiber, every joint, and every hair! May God bless you and Guru protect and guide you. SP