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Summary of Question:	What Can I Do
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 1/20/2004 5:37 PM MST

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh.

I have been reading this site every second day and it has been helping me a lot. Till today I haven’t ask any advice from you but today I really think I need. It looks like the person who I am going to refer here also has asked you for some advice (bcoz my story also goes something like that but his was from his point of view and mine is from my point of view). You have given him his answer and I hope you can help me too.

Why is this happening to me only? Hope you can advice me now what I am doing is rite or wrong.

I have a fiance and we was going steady for 1 year. Suddenly as time pass by our relationship was not very steady. At that time I really wanted someone to share and listen to my problems. One of my old friend introduce me to one guy. That guy use to like me. After she introduce him to me we became very close friends. I really like to talk to him more then my fiancé . everyday I will have argument with him , I don’t talk to my fiancé as much as I talk to this new guy. My family knew this guy and they also always tell me to leave my fiancé and go steady with this guy. I always go out with this guy and I started to love him (actually I really love his guy). I did not know how to break off with my fiancé and I really wanted to go steady with this guy. Even this new guy know that I have a fiance but he still love me.

As time pass by my fiancé came to me and confess. So we decided to carry on our relationship like normal. Then I told this new guy that I am sorry that I have to be with him as we already decided to go steady till the end. When we was steady we had a good time both of us used to go for holidays together (I start to love him back like I use to do). I still keep in touch with the other guy but only as a good friend (he was very disappointed with me, for what I have done). As time pass by came to one day I had to break up my relationship with my fiancé. That was my family’s decision and only follow bcoz my fiancé started giving me a lot of prob till my family got fed up.

Then I started to go back to the new guy, we still talk everyday on the phone and meet up sometime. I love him now and I know he still love me like what he used to but the only thing is he is not showing it to me and he doesn’t want to approach me. WHAT CAN I DO? Sometimes I even tell him that indirectly that I love him but he don’t trust me. I am very sure that he still love me bcoz I can know from the way he talk to me. It looks like something is trying to stop him to come and approach me. WHAT CAN I DO?
I know what I did with him was not fair..

Yes I love him now………pls help me….

(REPLY) Sat Nam. You are totally drowning in emotional quicksand. You are not relating to your soul, nor to the purpose of life. You are wasting your time in these "romantic" fantasy games. Start by reading Japji Sahib every morning, and trying to understand what Guru Nanak was telling us to help us live our lives to the best possible result, so that when we die, and yes, we are all going to eventually die ! We do so consciously and fearlessly. Life is NOT about all this nonsense of "he did this" and "I did this" and all this nonsense. Are you a Sikh? Do you know what that means? Please don't waste this precious gift of life. God bless you and Guru guide you to wake up and develop self respect, and respect for all people, so that you can be happy and live in Guru's grace. SP