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Summary of Question:	Shall I Run Away?
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Saturday, 12/03/2005 6:12 AM MST

Sat ri akaal

i am writig to you becasue i require some urgent help. i do not know what to do in my life and why bad things always happen to me.

i am 27 years old and live in canada. i have been with my lover for the past 5 and half years. we want to get married to each other. i told my parents that i found someone i wish to get married too, they saw him and we bit disapointd with the fact that he did not have a degree, whereas i did but he is earning good money where he now works. nevertheless the partly agreed to us getting married. my parents said they would have to get the help of an astrologer first, to see if the match was good. the astologer said to me that i was a manglik and my lover was not. my parents have now said there is no way that i can marry my lover after what the astrologer has said.

but i want to marry him. he is the one for me. why is this happening we want to be together. should we just run away and get married? will god evbery forgive me for this? but surely it has been said that astrology carries no value in Sikhism, so arent my parents commiting a sin by believing in all this?

i want to marry him, i will never marry no other.

please help me...

---reply

What were the astrologer's objections? Marriage is complicated. You say your lover that implies that you have had sex. Once you have sex, your auras merge and it is very difficult to be objective. Before you make this life decision, go to our matrimonial section and look at what it says about marriage. Ask your Boyfriend the questions. Discuss your life and what you both want. Take the sex out, because it is only a very small part of a relationship. Can you two talk well together, compromise and all those things that it talks about in the Matrimonial section. Don't run away and marry this guy and hurt your family unless you are very, very sure...that your decision is a conscious, well-thought out one...not based on emotions or rebelling against your family. If you both decide that you really want to go on with the marriage then go to your family, both of you. Talk calmly to them. Tell them your plans. They don't want to know that you are "in-love." Love is very fickle and changes on a whim, unless the foundation is strong. Your parents just care about you and want the best for you. First you have to be sure yourself that the relationship is solid (not based on romance) then together convince your family. Let us know how it goes. Blessings. GTKK