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Summary of Question:	What Do I Do? Carry On My Relationship Or Just Stay As A Friend
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 1/13/2004 12:55 AM MST

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh.

I am a little confused and I was wondering if you could help me.
I used to love a girl very much, but at that time she had a boyfriend.
She had some problem with her boyfriend, their relationship was not going very steady at that time.
We used to be very close we will talk to each other for hours on the phone and always go out.
She started to love me and start giving me some hopes. Even she still haven’t broke off with her boyfriend but she used to tell me that she love me her boyfriend is like that and like this. Come to a stage she and her boyfriend started going steady and she told me that I am sorry why don’t we be best friends. Come to one stage I really used to hate her but deep down in my heart I still love her very much. She was going steady with her boyfriend they used to go for holidays and stay together but they only went steady for about 6 months and then break of for good.
After breaking off with her boyfriend she took amrit and wanted to live her life.
Now she is very close to me. She treats me like her boyfriend now even if I quarrel with her she still call me. Sometimes she even tells me that she still love me but I don’t understand her. I do talk to her like normal. She is a change person now she treats me better nowadays.
The question is now I don’t know weather to carry on with her , tell her yes I love u or this is not the rite person for me.????
Deep down in my heart I still love her….
What am I suppose to do.????

(REPLY) Sat Nam. Stop being a puppy-dog. Either you two really love each other, and plan to marry, or you should forget about her and move on with your life. After a relationship such as you describe, tryng to just be friends is not going to work for you. And she doesn't sound very reliable to me. She has been simply using you when it's convenient, and I wonder how trustworthy she would be if you were to marry, and her former boyfriend came back in the picture. Maybe she has changed, but you need to find out what her long term intentions are. Be a man, and spend some time getting to know your own soul and spirit, not just live in your emotions. Read your banis, read the Siri Guru Granth Sahib and let the Guru's Words enter your heart and mind and awaken your soul. (SGGS can be found, with translation and transliteration right here on SikhNet website.) Blessings, SP