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Summary of Question:	Adultery
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 6/17/2002 11:12 AM MDT

I have visited the Sikh net forum and I would like to thank you for posting questions and concerns of people...It is a really good site!

I am confused and would like to know whether adultery is right under these circumstances given below??

A friend of mine has a collegue who is married for the past 10 years and has a 4 year old child. Now she told him that she and her husband do not get along at all and even though they live together (due to social pressure) they are not physically involved ever since the birth of her son. also she feels that her husband is cheating on her.

Now she wants to have a "No strings" relationship with this friend of mine. He discussed this with me and I said according to me it is not the right thing to do but he says all he is trying to do is add a little happiness to this woman's life. Is he right?? According to me Adultery is Adultery and cannot be justified under the guise of providing happiness.

What do our Guru's say about this?

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Sat Siri Akal.

Adultery is never right, under any circumstance, for a Sikh.

Why is this? When a Sikh marries, she marries her soul to the Guru. The physical relationship between the husband and wife is a vehicle for the Guru to guide those two spirit to their awakening and liberation. To cheat on one's spouse, for a Sikh, is to actually break that contract with the Guru-break the relationship of guidance through the vehicle of marriage. It's a very heavy karma.

If the marriage is not working, then the two people involved need to sit down and sort it out first. Either figure out how to make the marriage work, or choose to get divorced. But that relationship between husband and wife needs the attention. The kind of situation you are describing above is really nothing more than a "drug" for the woman to avoid her own feelings and her own responsibilities in the relationship. Not to mention the fact that these types of situations inevitably cause so much more pain and heart-ache then the passing sensual pleasure is ever worth. The happiness will last all of 15 minutes. The pain in such a situation can last the rest of her life. Encourage her to resolve her marriage issues first and foremost. Facing herself honestly is the real step to happiness.

Best of luck.

GPK