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Summary of Question:	Re: Have I Done The Right Thing In This Engagement?
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 2/14/2003 6:37 AM MST

Sat Sri Akal,

I am just writing in respose to the person who wrote in regarding her engagement.

I think the falling in love idea might be westernised and this is always portrayed in films, especially bollywood films. However, i am not saying it is wrong or anything, it is good to meet someone and love them. But that does not mean that this is the only way to a successful relationship/marriage.

I, myself, have been in a short relationship which ended kinda messy and i am still confused as to why it did end. The girl claimed that we were not right for each other.

I think if both partners put in the effort, I dont see why any relationship can work.

I have also noticed, from my experience, and from reading all the posts sent in this forum, that it is 99% girls who say that they are in love or say that they want to fall in love, etc. So could this be a "girl" thing...where they want the perfect person to come along, like in the movies?

Referring to the case about the person who wrote in, maybe meeting that person once wasnt long enough, maybe a couple of months would have been better? But then ofcourse, there is pressure from parents etc. I have not been in your situation myself, so i dont really know what it is like. But I, myself, wonder who I am goig to marry, and whether I will end up in a marriage like this women has described where she is just going along cuz she feels she has to.

I hope I meet my future wife myself but saying that, If i do have an arranged marriage, this will not mean that I will not be happy cuz and the end of the day, a marriage is a marriage, whether it is love or arranged. Love will reside in both cases.

Thank you for your time