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Summary of Question:	I Don't Know What To Do?
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Monday, 5/27/2002 2:21 PM MDT

Wahe Guruji Ka Khalsa; Wahe Guruji Ki Fathae,

I have visited your forum several times and have posted you several questions in the past, out of general interest. But I don't know, how to say this, but something is bugging me in life, I have long encountered this problem and I was wondering if you lot could please help me.

I don't know, where to start of from? I am confused, I don't know what the future holds for me. There is something I am lacking in life and I don't know what it is. I am pretty much aware there are millions of people out there who are worse of than me. Well, I am at University and things are not going fine, I have been told by my lecturer that I will fail this year and will probably have to repeat it the following. Science was enforced upon me by my parents, when I was young, My narrow minded Dad put me into a private school, thinking it was for my own good. I feel that I am partly to be blamed, I should have been more rebellious, more argumentative looking back at all those years, I should have argued, what I wanted to study and it was none of their business to enforce science upon me. They now realize that they were in the wrong, but the thing is, I do not know what to do in my life, what does the future hold for me, if I was to drop out of Uni? So many times, I have been told by my friends and the Careers Advice, why don't I change courses? but I am getting older, I am now 23 and am in the second year of my undergraduate course, which I don't enjoy. Despite working hard, I have received the lowest marks, meaning I'll have to repeat this year. I have never been much of an academic achiever in life. I suppose some of us are more academic than others. My dad felt, when I was young that private schooling will make me a brighter pupil, but he has been proved wrong, cos quite naturally some of us are more academically gifted than others.
I was put under constant pressure to work hard, but the greater the amount of pressure, I felt, the more I screwed in studies. I was often told to be quiet, whenever I questioned my parents, but now it is too late for them to be sorry.
I do not know, whether I should blame myself or should I blame my bad luck. I don't know of any hidden talent inside me, and I don't know what to do in life, if I was to drop out of uni.

Parents want me to get a degree asap, and to settle down with a family asap. I constantly clash with them that it is none of their business to plan my life for me. I don't know why, they always made their decisions for me, and I feel it has affected me, I lack confidence, suffer low esteem. I do not practise Sikhi, but I pray in difficult times and whenever the mood takes, I think of Guru, but nothing seems to help.

I apologise for this really long post, but thanks for your time and God Bless.


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Wahe Guru Ji Ka kHalsa,
Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh.

First-know that what you are going trhough is actually very very normal and typical for your age. There are very few people (in fact-I don't know of ANY) who go to college, get a degree and then work happily in the career they got the degree in for the rest of their lives. Most people fortunate enough to go to University - first-they major in what sounds like a good idea at the time. Then, many people hate what they decided to major in and either change their major or just stick it out to get done. And it won't be until you're in your 30's that your career will settle into something that makes sense because, after University, you'll probably try lots of things until you see what suits you best. So-there's no bad luck. You are doing great!

For yourself, you are free to change your major to something you enjoy. No point in sticking with an area of study that doesn't work for you. The point is for you to be successful in life-and you do have talents. It's just that they're probably so obvious you never think of them as talents. What gives you pleasure? What do you enjoy? Those are clues that can guide you and help you to either choose a different track of study or go look for work somewhere.

As for your parents-it is never easy. Most parents have a hard time letting their child go, allowing their children to become adults. Decide for yourself what you will do and, even if it upsets your parents, just keep loving them and know that one day-they'll get over it. If you decide to take your life in your hands now, at least the mistakes you make will be yours and you won't have anyone else to blame them on but YOU-which is the way it should be.

Also-the Siri Guru Granth Sahib is a very real, practical teacher. My dad used to say, "Never turn down good advice. It's the one thing in life that's free." Guru has tons of good advice to give you, if you just take the time to read and listen to what the Guru says-It will guide you and never let you down.

Good luck and don't worry. God is with you and you have a great life ahead of you. Just go for it.


GPK

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa
Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh