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Summary of Question:	Surnames Pagalpan
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Thursday, 11/27/2003 5:28 AM MST

Sat Siri Akhal, I am not sure if my question is appropriate but I desperately need feedback/help. I have a very strong belief in God and religion and attribute evry aspect of my being to Baba Ji, I believe everything is predetermined via God, n this decision was difficult for me to reach. I have been seeing my partner 4 a while now and although this is strictly frowned upon in our society and culture I believe that this and he has helped strengthen my faith i.e. initially I felt so bad about what I was doing I found myself turning to prayer much more frequently (i know this was the wrong incentive)however gradually I have begun 2 realise that my partner is the beat thing 2 ever happen to me and now I am eternally grateful for having been given him, both of us have very strong regard 4 r religion and we have helped each other in expanding and developing our beliefs. My problem is that now we are raeching marriagable ages we have recently discovered that our mothers used 2 have the same surnames. Although myself and partner will never have this name I am aware that people will kick up a fuss about it. I was so stressed I spoke to a Baba Ji about it and he assured me to not woory about it bt i cant help it. My personal understanding of Sikhi tells me that surnames r irrelevant within Sikhi, we r Singhs and Kaurs and heirachy of surnames and castes was seriously frowned upon by Guru jis. So where does this leave me? Im not sure how this system works do you email me or post a reply here?either way I would really appreciate any feedback offered n Im really sorry if my query is disrespectful and hypocritical.

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Sat Siri Akal.

Just because both of your mothers had the same surnames does not mean that they were related. The best thing to do is to investigate and find out if there are any blood ties. Even if there is a connection - it is probably very very distant and so you and your young man should be fine.

It is heartening to hear that your connection with this man has brought you closer to your faith and God. Now please be very respectful of yourself and him and get engaged at the earliest opportunity so you can solidify your commitment to each other and stay in a state of grace.

Thank you for writing and many blessings.

Much love,

GPK