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Summary of Question:	Dilemma?? Between Parents And Love
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 3/31/2008 9:13 PM MDT

Sat sri akal ji

i am facing a dilemma which is making my life such a burden, i dont know wt to do and wt is right?
i was in love with a guy when i was 17 i know at that time this was more infatuation than love but gradually this friendship between us grew deeper and and we became madle in love with eachother and unfortunately our parents found out abt this and were really mad and disappointed at us, when i saw ma dad crying coz of me i was so much dishearten that i swore that i wont talk to tht guy ever untill its allowed by my parents and we didnt talk at all for 4 years. and now he cam back into my life and he told me tht he still loves me and had been waiting for the right time to come, he is done with his graduation and studying for his masters right now and im still doing ma graduation but my dilemma is that i know tht he is the person with whom i want to spend ma whole life and i really love him a lot and i also know that he loves me even more and will always take care of ma happiness, but he wants to talk to his parents about us only after he completes his masters and we both agree on this that we dont want to get married if either of our parents express their unhappiness about our alliance. we are both studying right now, he calls me once in few months(he is in america and i am in canada) about what he is upto as he doesnt want to leave any stone unturn to raise himself acadamically as well as professionaly.
but there are still 2 years from now to the time when he is goin to talk to his parents about our alliance. and his mom doesnt like me at all, even though i am religious sikh gurl who is obidient and educated, and i feel that there is a possibility for her to refuse our alliance. is it still fair for me to continue my relationship with him even though we only talk once in few months that also for few minutes (bt we are totally committed to each other). he told me clearly that he cannot see his parents unhappy so he wud rather not marry me and do wt they want instead of marrying against their wishes. and i agree with that too, i dont want to cause any diferences in between the pure relationship of a mother and a son, being his mom i know she will decide the best for him. But should i then stop talking to him only coz i think there is a possiblity for refusal to our alliance, i dnt want to continue to love someone whom i am not going to be married? i dont know should i still continue my relationship with him or not?? i dont want to hurt my parents nor to bring them humiliation, i want to be ma dad's pride and i really love my dad a lot, does my love for that guy means that i am defaming my dad's reputation or playing with his faith on me (As now he doesnt know that we still talk)????
please help me.......i dont want to make my parents sad coz of me.........i will stop talking to him een though i cant live without him either, i really love him.....but if we dont meant be together then for rest of my life i wont marry and stay single and serve sikhi.........

please help

sikh

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What do your parents all have against you both? You didn't mention that? If he won't go against his mother then you are just wasting your time. No, I wouldn't talk to him. Go on with your life. There will be love for you. Talk to your parents about wanting to have a say in who they choose for you. You are the person who has to live with the person for your whole life, have their children, etc. See if your parents will listen to you and let you be a part of the choice. Blessings, JJK