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Summary of Question: | Any Advice |
Category: | Health |
Date Posted: | Thursday, 5/26/2005 11:58 AM MDT |
Since I was a kid I have had Obsessive compulsive disorder. I wash my hands 20 times a day, I will check to see if a door or a window is locked 3 or 4 times, I will check if the gas cooker is off 10 times.
Now I have uncontrollable fits of rage, where I just lose control - I offset it by jumping away, and smashing myself into the floor, rather than hurting someone.
I cannot hold discipline for doing paath or meditation, though I have to do sessions or I just could not go on. I couple of times a month meditate on mool mantar up to 2 hours in one go – I do this in the middle of the night. At work I use techniques of controlling my breathing, and slowing my heart beat right down for up to 2 hours continuous - just to get through the day. I attempt to continuous meditate on Vaheguru, but can only manage half a day, and then my problems come back. I listen to jap ji sahib, sukhmani sahib - but cannot hold a routine. I focus on my third eye, and tenth gate, but cannot hold the focus for long
I have attempted to become celibate, but in my mood swing I can't.
I have this destructive beast in me, its killing me, and it’s hurting everyone I love. I can't control it.
But I will survive, I will take Amrit. – But for the time being, give me some comforting words.
---reply
Have you seen a counselor? How do you know you are Bipolar? Are you on medication? Medication should be able to help you. All I can advise you to do is see a good counselor. Medication may be very helpful and allow you to lead a normal life. Blessings to you. GTKK