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Summary of Question:	Am I Doing Something Wrong
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Monday, 9/25/2006 12:32 AM MDT

I am a 22 year Sikh male. I have had a very difficult life in my childhood and teenage years. I am very shy and stay quiet most of the time. I am not a very social person and I have fear of being in places where there are a lot of people. I am a college student and get good grades in college. However, I don't have a girlfriend and I feel very bad since all my cousins have one. I have never been involved with any girl since I am fearful of rejection and thus do not approach girls. I feel very lonely and there is something that I do in order to cope with this situation. I go and pick up prostitutes and I pay them to talk with me. It is not about sex. I am amazed at the interesting stories I get to hear from prostitutes. Most of them have been victims of sexual abuse in their childhood usually by someone in the family. They are usually going through tough financial times in life and engage in prostitution to earn money.

Most of them have had tough childhood just like me and I can relate to them in this way. All of this has given me new perspective on life. I no longer look down on prostitutes as horrible and immoral women. They are also good human beings like every one of us. These prostitutes are much less judgemental than the "normal" girls. They do not judge me based on my skin color, attractivenes, height, or social class. In fact, I believe that they are much better than "normal" girls since they are upfront and honest. They do not put up a show and fool people. Besides, most girls also engage in indirect prostitution. They do it in a complicated way by looking at the financial situation, attractiveness, and height of the man that they want to marry.

None of my family members know about this situation. On one hand I love engaging in this behavior since it makes me feel less lonely and give me new perspectives on life. On the other hand, I do have to go to dangerous neighborhoods to pick up these women. But I feel extremely lonely and suicidal if I don't talk to these women. I would like to ask if I am doing anything wrong by engaging in this behavior? I know that this is weird question but I would still like an answer. Thank Yu

---reply

I have a couple of questions for you. If you are nervous about going into dangerous neighborhoods, have you thought about meeting them in a safe place? Or, have you thought about taking one of them on a regular date...out to dinner and a movie? Maybe one (or more) of them would love to be treated like a "regular" date. Many times prostitutes have very low self-esteems. Perhaps asking one for a date would help both of you...you to overcome some of your fears and theirs to overcome feelings of low self-esteem, etc. Take her out and treat her really well, like a regular person...paying for everything. I bet they don't get treated with respect and grace very often. Try it. It could help both of you. Let us know how it goes. GTKK