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Summary of Question:	Am I Wanted Or Not?
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 5/20/2003 9:15 PM MDT

SSA to everywun out there!...

my name is navjot saini. i m 14 years old. i was born in India, but presenty i m living in Canada. my problem is that there is one group of gurls whom i alwayz wanted to be friends with and now i m. but i dn no i feel unwanted sumtimez...i even asked them that "do u guyz want me around, i m askin this cuz i feel unwanted smtimes" n the said "certainly dummy y da hell would u think that 4". i was really-2 happy after tehy said that...i really felt wanted BUT i styll do feel uncomfortable with em. like i share my locker with one of those gurlz n one of them have a locker in front of my locker...whenever after lunch we come to get our bookz...nobody waits 4me...they jus wait 4 those 2 gurlz n wen they r done they jjus leave..without waitin 4 me...why?...coz i m unwanted n tehy dn wana be with me or is it cuz i have a class on 2 floor n they have their classes on 1(well, they do stop @ anotehr gurlz locker on floor 2 to wait 4 her who goes to floor 3...till ther we have tha same route buh they dn wait 4 me..why?..how can i no what is in there heart? can smbody plzz helo me?...i m confuseed...n feel lonely...:(
(REPLY) Sat Nam. At 14 your feelings are very normal -- it happens to a lot of girls at your age. The solution is to focus on being really pleasant and not expecting anything from these other girls. Don't make such a big deal out of who waits for you or not at the locker. We all want to be accepted and liked, but it's more important for you to accept and like everyone else! the secret of happiness is to forget about yourself, and serve others. That is what our Gurus have taught us. You have to value yourself so much (without being egotistical) that the opinions of these other girls doesn't matter, because you KNOW you're all right! The other girls are simply not being sensitive to your feelings, but so what? In your mind and in your prayers, bless them and use some positive thinking and affirmations to say to yourself over and over: "I like everyone, and everyone likes me." Our feelings and our thoughts are under our control, and you can CHOOSE to feel bad, or to feel good not matter what happens! Believe me, I know. Try it, and see what happens. Keep a smile on your face, and let everyone see that you are an outstanding cheerful, pleasant kind and considerate person. May God and Guru bless you. Remember, all outer situations are temporary! Read Japji Sahib every morning before you go to school, to start your day with Guru's blessing and awareness of what's really important and permanent in life.