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Summary of Question:	Re:Marriage Status
Category:	Gurbani
Date Posted:	Thursday, 2/06/2003 6:10 AM MST

Gur Fateh

In Bibi GTKK Ji's response to the "marriage status" question she mentioned the Dhan Dhan Shabad but didnt give a reference or page number.
I would be grateful if you could give a page reference (SGGS or Ammrit kirtan)because even though I didnt post the original question I know many who are in a similar situation and could benefit from this shabad.
May Guru Ji shower you with blessings for providing such a wonderful service/sewa.
Many Thanks
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Reply
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This Shabd is on page 259 of the Amrit Kirtan.
You can also find it on Sikhnet on Shabd sheets.
SKKK



original question;


Summary of Question: Marriage Status - Canada
Category: Love & Marriage
Date Posted: Monday, 3/02/2003 16:45 MST
(Modified: Tuesday, 4/02/2003 9:12 MST)
My husband and I have been married for 8 years and we have a 7 year old. We had a traditional arranged marriage. He is from Canada and when his mother came down to the US she said they will be moving out here so they sent him out to the US before our traditional east Indian wedding. During our 8 years of marriage, he has not held a steady job (he usually ends up getting terminated) because I believe he lacks people skills or maybe he has ADD. He hasn’t been able to hold a job for more than one year straight. I have been the sole supporter of the family. His parents call and talk him into moving back to Canada by promising him things they don’t provide (i.e. buying him a business). About 4 years ago, he went back to Canada because they promised to buy him a Subway. Well that didn’t happen and he ended up coming back within 9 months. After 3 years, his mom visited and they are again telling him that he needs to come back home because they have built a huge house with all these expensive things. They are always talking about how much money they have and all the things they buy and how expensive they are. He told my son that he will be going back home (to Canada). I know in a traditional east Indian marriage the girl should follow her husband footsteps, but it does not feel right. He has no job. His parents have lived a very abusive relationship and nothing has changed there. I don’t want to expose my son to such an environment. They are promising him things that are not going to happen. His father has said that he should never have married his son in the US. I am really confused and depressed, so should I just wait to see what happens? Any advice?

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You are indeed in a very difficult situation. Your first responsibility is to your son. You have every right as a mother to want to protect him. But, before you make any decisions, try this first: Recite the shabd Dhan Dhan 11 times a day (which is for miracles) and the last pauri in Rehras, which starts with "Titai too simrat" (which breaks unhealthy controls of one person over another...like your inlaws have on your husband). Start the recitations with an Ardas, as a prayer for a graceful resolution to your situation. After they are memorized, you can recite them any time, anywhere - Walking, washing dishes,
driving, anything...it is also nice to sit and do it as a meditation. You can do them separately. You may find the time to recite the Dhan Dhan during one time of the day and the Titai Too Simrat in the evening. It is good to try to complete the full 11 times together, though; it will be more powerful.

Use these recitations to become clear and neutral, so you can make the best possible decision for you and your son. Your husband's first responsibility is to his wife and son; if he makes his first responsibility to his parents, your marriage will never be happy. Its a universal law...parents raise their children to be capable and indepentent so they can leave them and have their own life and family. Allow the Guru to guide you. GTKK