Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	Repentance & Restitution
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Monday, 1/07/2002 3:32 PM MST

Sat siri Akaal, friends.

I am in a moral bind for the past couple of months. Two years ago I worked taking care of this guy who needed a cat carrier. He gave me a few bucks and I said I'd get one, no problem. A few days later I was injured on the job, badly. The agency I worked for would not act as liaison, because home nursing assistance were not allowed non-professional contact by policy. The gist of the matter is that it took some weeks for disability to kick in, my savings ran out and I spent the fifty bucks.

The patient is not listed in the phone book. The home-care agency still will not act as liaison, now because I had to take a non-physical job. If I go to the patient's building I have no access even to a doorbell because it is a secured senior center and I no longer have security clearance. And now that I have fifty bucks to give back the guy, he's nowhere to be found!

I have felt pretty evil about this for a while. No matter how I pray for forgiveness it is hard to forgive myself. It is even harder to make restitution to this innocent man. If I cannot forgive myself, how does God forgive me?
How best to make up for having done this thing? Please advise me.

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa
Waheguru ji ki Fateh

Elizabeth

*********
REPLY
*********
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!
Dear Elizabeth--

Guilt it pernicious, isn't it? What happened to you was in Guru's will. Your intentions are and were not to take the fellow's money and run. You forget that perhaps this fellow had a karma to lose the $50 -- at least for a while. There is NOTHING to forgive! You have tried your best to get the money back to him. You did your best to follow through on his request. Stuff happens, Waheguru! In pauri 25 of Japji, Nanak says: "Kaytia dukh bhook sadh maar, ayh bhi daat tayree dataar" -- "good and bad happens, these too are Thy gifts, O Lord".
If there is no way to find this fellow (check the phone book, other senior centers) then I recommend you do one of 2 things: keep the money for a while on the chance you run into him and can return it, or (2) donate the money to charity, perhaps aan nimal shelter or senior center, given the circumstances. Or do both, ultimately.

Let go of the GUILT, it doesn't serve you. If you asked God to forgive you it is DONE. Now forgive yourself for being caught in your karma and move on, dear. Chant the Naam daily, it is SO much easier to let stuff go when one's mind is meditative. Guru rakha,
-DKK