Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	Why Do Parents Not Allow Love Marriage?
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 4/02/2003 6:41 AM MDT

why do parents not allow love marriages? im in love with a sikh boy but of a different caste so why cant i marry him? is it wrong if i run away with him to get married.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. It's not a question of "wrong" -- if you run off and get married against your parents' wishes, it's a question of whether you are prepared to deal with the results of that action. I think it is sad, and terribly unfortunate that there is still a clinging to the "caste" label. It is an outdated divisive attitude that our Gurus rejected, but still people refuse to give it up and open their hearts and minds to the equality of all Sikhs. There is, however always the consideration of the fact that the more things a couple have in common in regard to background, education, values, and spiritual aspiration, the better chance for a happy marriage. Simply being "in love" - especially at a young age doesn't always wear well with time, especially if your families reject you and you are left on your own without family support. There needs to be a lot of communication and education, and I hope that you will make every effort to discuss in detail this situation with your parents, and he with his parents. Have you met his parents? How do they feel about this match? Sikh Marriage is a lifetime commitment, and a sacred bonding and you will want your children to have the love and relationship with grandparents. I hope you can work this out. Meanwhile, don't rush into anything, and if it is meant to be, it will work out -- hopefully with the blessings of your parents. Best wishes for your happiness. May God bless you and Guru give you wisdom and patience. SP