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Summary of Question:	In Love With A Married Man...
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Thursday, 11/24/2005 9:43 PM MST

This is sort of a long story....Here it goes....I met this indian guy through a good friend of mine (who also happends to be indian) and we started talking just as friends about a little over a year ago. After getting to know each other, we started dating. Of course everyone thought it was weird because I was white and he was indian and wore a turban...but that didnt bother me. After months of dating I was constantly hearing rumors that he was married. Everytime I would confront him about it, he would tell me it wasnt true and I would just have to trust him. And I did. A few months later, we were hanging out and I got a call from his dad. His dad was yelling at me and asking me all kinds of questions. Since I was in total shock and absolutley scared, I just hung up. It was pretty safe to say that his family had found out about us. I knew it was a big deal for us to date, but the way his family was reacting was way too much. He told me that we had to stop talking because it wouldnt work out, and I understood. He appologized and we didnt talk for about 5 months. Finally, one day I saw him out, and we started talking again. This is where he finally came clean and told me that he was married and he didnt know how to tell me before because he loved me and didnt want to hurt me. His marriage was arranged so he really didnt have any control over it. To this day, we talk on the phone and text each other every chance we get. He tells me he misses me and that he still loves me and has feelings for me. I feel really bad because his whole family knows about me and what happened, even his wife. I feel like I ruinded his family and most importantly, his marriage. I still have feelings for him and I still love him very much. His family is pretty much known as the most strict indian family in our community, which makes things even worse. I just dont know what to do because I really do love him with all my heart, and I would do anything to be with him. If you could give me any advice that would be great! Thank you so much for your time!

--Erin

Erin,

Get out of this relationship as fast as you can. It's a no-win situation. You will be the loser, believe me. In the Sikh culture the family comes first. It is very unlikely that he will ever be able to leave his wife. You will be the second-hand mistress forever. Is that what you want? Stop talking to him and texting him. Stop any contact with him whatsoever. You deserve a better situation. Don't settle for this kind of abuse to yourself. You will recover from him. Believe me, a continued relationship with him will be a nightmare. Walk away and don't look back. Start your life anew and you will benefit and find true love that you deserve, someone that will be true to you. This guy lied to you. He will lie and lie and lie. He has to. Believe me, I know what I am talking about. Don't hesitate. Get out of it and go on. Blessings. GTKK