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Summary of Question:	Physical Relationship Before Marriage In Sikhism?
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 4/14/2004 1:04 PM MDT

I have always wondered about the thoughts on physical relationship before marriage in sikhism. I want to know about the facts stated in Shri Guru Granth Sahib Jee and not the values of the culture.

Is it prohibitted? Haven't been discussed? Or not made a big deal out of it?

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Sat Siri Akaal. I have read SGGS from cover to cover and there is nothing in it specific to the issue of sex before marriage. There is lots about that enemy, 'lust' --which I understand to mean sex without caring or commitment. In Sikhi, the proscription about non-marital sex is part of the rehit of an Amritdhari Sikh.
So, I will tell you what I know from personal experience, though (I'm over 40 and dated a number of guys before I became Sikh 15 years ago). Every time a woman sleeps with a man, his energy remains in her aura. If this is her husband, that's OK. If it's not, and never will be, she has him in her aura anyway. Do you want this? I know this sounds new-agey, but it's absolutely true. Here is another perspective (I'm not punjabi, so I'm not bound by cultural values here). Sikh women have NO PRICE. I have heard Yogi Bhajan say that when a woman puts her hair on top of her head and wraps it, she is putting on a crown that reminds all present "I have NO price." I find that he is right on target with this one.

When a woman gives her body to a man in the act of sex, she literally does just that. Women are yin, we 'receive' the man, he 'takes' us through penetration. This is a pretty big deal. Believe me, you want to be in love with that man and certain that he's THE ONE for you. When one is young, it is not always easy to tell this, I know. Another thing peculiar to women more than men: once we have sex with a man who we're not married to, our emotions go for a roller coaster because we don't know if he'll call or see us again or love us tomorrow, etc etc. It is a nightmare I remember well. Do you want this? So, leaving cultural values and religious practices aside, think about these things and answer your question for yourself. Guru ang sang,
-DKK