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Summary of Question:	Confusion About Marriage
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 5/07/2007 11:18 PM MDT

Iam going around with a guy for past 4 yrs. and my parents are aware of evrything and they now agree with this marriage.This guy is really committed and loves me a lot he is a brahmin and me a punjabi(not sikh).Even iam attached to this guy a lot....but when it comes to marriage i get confused as he is too short tempered and insults me a lot..then i also react in the same manner he just argues a lot and leads to nothing.Our marriage is getting delayed just becauz i feel that this kind of behavior wud ruin my married life in future the moment i say him ;NO' for marriage then his tone changes and if i say 'YES' then he behaves in the same way.My condition is so worst now that iam not able to accept him as i have no charm left becauz of his rough nature and iam not able to leave him also as iam attached to him.I am just wasting time for him and i am becuming overage my parents are also worried abt this a lot...and my parents want me to take the decision as soon as possible they want my happiness.But due to my parents attitude towards me, i don;t want to marry according to them also and want a guy of my own choice for that i knw i will have to either leave this guy or wud have to accept him the way he is. Iam just afraid of the consequences in future.

Please help me in taking the right decision as i have no support from anyone..i have to decide on my own.

Please reply soon!
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reply
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Dear one,
In the name of God and Guru please note....it gets harder AFTER marriage. If he is insulting you now chances may be that after marriage he will be beating you. I do not want to say he WILL be beating you....but probably. You are already upset so your choice is: marry him and endure more of this by your committment and devotion or.....let him go and focus your love and attachment on your Guru who will always speak to you with love. Develop your connection with Guru and work on finding happiness in your life.

Be very clear and know what you are attracting to yourself. At least before marriage you have the opportunity to choose.

Choose to give up this one to the Guru. Love the Guru and recite your shabd for happiness and love..."Mangala Saaj Bhai-aa...." (you can find on Sikhnet Shabds for printing) copy it and recite it daly 11 times a day for the next 3 months. Give over your worry and attachment for this devotion/meditation you will do daily. You and your life will improve. Projects with love and gratitude to yourself and all. Your life will be improved. Be patient and do this!!!!
You are wise and thoughtful and NOW is the time to act and end this abusive relationship!!!!