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Summary of Question:	Can You Lose Your Amrit
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 7/24/2002 4:23 PM MDT

I am a christian girl who has fallen in love with an amritdhari sikh boy. he does all the things that he is supposed to and is very, very dedicated to sikhism. he likes me too and sometimes we do things that i know we are not supposed to, like kiss. he has told me that he will marry this other girl he knows who is also sikh. I have a few questions. Can he lose or have to redo amrit because he has done things he promised not to? Also, do you think that he is being dishonest to the girl he has agreed to marry? Finally, would it be so bad for him to marry me? I have learned so much about sikhism and even though i am christian and always will be, i think that i could be a good support to him and everything. So, these are my questions. I would appreciate an answer because this is something that has been bothering me for a very long time.

[Reply]

You are certainly in a difficult situation. I hope that my answers bring some clarity to your situation.

The process of taking amrit is that of giving one's head to our Guru. This is a lifetime commitment. I do not believe that this bond can ever be broken once established, regardless of the future actions of the Sikh. However, some Sikhs do feel inspired to undergo the amrit ceremony after transgressions in order to re-affirm their commitment.

If this man has a commitment to another woman for marriage, and is engaging in intimate activity with you, then by definition that is cheating, correct? That question is more fundamental than Sikhism or Christianity.

All of life is God's will. There would be difficulties in a mixed religion marriage, such as deciding which religion in which to raise your children. Some work and some fail.

Sat Nam and God Bless.

DSK