Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	I Want To Marry A Guy That I Met Over 2 Years Ago But My Dad Said No
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 9/30/2002 2:59 AM MDT

Im from the USA and i met this guy in the UK nearly 3 years back. He's visited me on a number of occasions and obviously have gotten real close with each other. However there came a point were we both decided that we wanted to wed each other. The major obstacle being for me (the girl) is telling my parents about this boy. I know that the boy's family are behind him and want him to be happy, but how can i break it to my father? He's the one who makes the decision in the house, if he says Yes then it's ok otherwise nothing can happen. We eventually got someone to introduce them to our family, my mum was the first i tried to convince especially with us being different castes. She was ok with that, however my parents were not aware the relationship i had with this boy. We asked all our family members in India and they were fine, especially my Nani (Dads Mother), however she said that she couldnt do anything until her son calls her and asks me about this boy. I eventually forced my mum to ask my dad about me and he said No by saying they live to far and we dont even know them. Now that really hurt especially as i've known this guy for over 2 years and everyone in the family liked him ( my bro/sis and cousins all adore him). I really want to marry him but im well too scared to tell my parents as i fear for mine and my mums life. What can i do? I really want to marry this guy, our relationship was based on trust and was more mental than physical. He is my happiness and i want to be able to share everything with him? What do you suggest i do without giving too much away that i know this boy?

------
Isn't it customary for the boy's family to contact the girl's family and state the interest of their son for the other's family's daughter? If his family is supportive, than ask them to follow the cultural rules for arrange marriages. Are you saying that your life and your mother's life is in danger if you reveal your relationship with this young man? That is pretty radical if its true. Anyway, it seems that you need to play by the rules with your father, by having his family do the traditional thing of contacting your parents. May Guru guide you. GTKK