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Summary of Question:	Teenage Love.
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 3/23/2004 6:33 AM MDT

well it all sounds a bit stupid, but me and my partner have been together for 1 year now, and we are going through a really really bad patch at the moment. all we do is argue even if there is nothing to argue about we still argue! i am getting very insecure over him cause i think he is boared and i think he is cheating on me. he doesn't make any effort to spend time with me and he doesn't like to let his friends know that we are dating. he never takes me out, but i understand that. (financial problems) but he doesn't even make the effort. he cares more about his friends then he does about me! he is breaking my heart slowly but he does not realise this. i don't know what to do anymore i have tried everything. but i know that i still love him so much. (too much) and to break up with him it will break my heart and i don't think i will ever be able to get over him. what shall i do. please help.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. You titled your question "Teenage love" and that says it all. What you are going through, first of all, doesn't address anything that has to do with the reality of life, nor of being a Sikh. I thought this site was about guidance for people wanting to understand our religion and our way of life, not an advice to the "lovelorn." As you describe your relationship it is obvious that you are totally involved in your emotions, and not spending any time relating to your own soul. Believe it or not, you are missing the whole purpose of life. As Sikhs, we believe in Marriage and hold that in highest esteem as a path that two people travel together toward experiencing God. Have you given any thought to what you are doing to contact the God that lives and breathes in you? These teen age romances and dating problems are so sad, because almost always it ends up with someone (usually the girl) with a broken heart, and spoils chances for a happy and fulfilling marriage as an adult. Have you ever read Japji Sahib, and understood the meaning of it? I honestly don't know what else to say to you, except that this whole dating thing reminds me of a saying I heard from a very wise man, "Every date has a pit." The code of conduct of Khalsa, the Rehit Maryada means "constant remembrance of death." Do you realize that you are alive only because God is breathing in you? And if you don't get your next inhalation, you're dead. That realization is to remind us to live each moment so that we can have a clear conscience, and return home to God fearlessly. Don't waste your time and your youth in this emotional commotion. Get some dignity and self-respect, and then with Guru's grace, when you are mature enough, you will marry a man who will respect you. In the meantime, prepare yourself for a career, do seva, and get acquainted with your Guru, the Siri Guru Granth Sahib. (This guy obviously doesn't respect you, why are you permitting this?) SP