Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	To Tell Or Not To Tell....
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 1/07/2005 6:30 PM MST

I've tried finding the answer to my question came close but didn’t quite get it. I am a 21yr old female who is involved with 21yr old male but of a different caste. We’ve been together for 2yrs now so it’s kind of serious. Although I know were still young it seems as thought I’ve found my other half. The problem is that my parents won’t be happy if I were to marry someone of another caste system. Yet they are starting to talk about other “potential” partners for me. I want to be straight up with my mom and tell her what is going on, however not sure if this is the right time ( I think since she’s talking about other “potentials” she should be aware of what I have in mind) or if I should stop being selfish and just obey my parents wishes. The other problem is that I don’t want to get engaged, so that is why I would hold off from telling my parents because they don’t believe in dating either….stressed out not sure what to do….

Your input would be greatly appreciated =)

(REPLY) Sat Nam. Honesty is the best policy. As you are aware, it will be more of a problem if you delay telling your parents, since they are now shopping for a "suitable" mate for you! This "caste" distinction is not only outdated; it is a culturally based Hindu tradition, and it's definitely contrary to the teachings of our Guru. As for being "selfish" -- well, unless you think you are supposed to live your life for your parents, well, what can I say? Everything that we do is selfish, in the sense that everything that we do has consequences to us personally. You just have to decide what are the pros and cons of the choices that you are making. Are you SURE that your boyfriend is the right one to be your partner for life? If so, why don't you want to be engaged now? Are you praying for guidance? Are you meditating every day? Reading your banis? Don't deprive yourself of the blessing of tuning in to the wisdom of our Gurus, especially understanding Japji will give you clarity. Blessings, SP