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Summary of Question:	Sewa
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Monday, 5/20/2002 7:00 PM MDT

I am married to my husband for 9 years now. When I married him I stayed in my in-laws.I did sewa for my new family as though they were my own. I found that instead of them treating me like their own daughter, they have abused me and they brainwashed my husband to do the same. I left that house after I was convinced that I had no future there and moved to my own house with my husband. But problems did not stop. My husband hits me and abuses me a lot for moving out. I understand Sikhi means patience and forgiving, but what is life when there is no love between the husband and wife?? I have lovely childrens and I do not want them to lose their father! I am a amritdhari and so are my children and my husband. My in-laws believe in black magic and I believe this is what is breaking up my marriage. Is it right to divorce my husband as I feel he has not keep his vows to love and provide for me? Please help me!

Thanks!
(REPLY) Where are your parents? Don't you have any relatives who can help you and your children? Why is your husband hitting you? I do not believe any husband should hit his wife. You are not a slave, you are a Khalsa woman. Guru Nanak wrote a whole shabd about how woman is to be respected. If your husband refuses to treat you decently, then you should seek help. There are shelters for "battered" women in America, but I don't know where you are living. Almost anywhere there are professioinal counselors with whom you can discuss your situation. I hope, with Guru's grace you will find a solution. (By the way, just because your in-laws believe in black magic does not mean that you have to believe in it! ) you could Chant Aad Guray Nameh, Jugaad Guray Nameh, Sat Guray Nameh, Siri Guru Davay Nameh for protection. (Visualize Guru Nanak on your right, Guru Angad behind you, Guru Amar Das on your left side, and Guru Ram Das in front of you) when you feel threatened in any way. God is always, always with you. Replace your fear with faith, and do something positive to solve your problems. Blessings, SP