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Summary of Question:	Love & Relation
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Saturday, 3/22/2003 8:37 PM MDT

sat,kal

my name is nitinpal singh . i am a 22 yrs old guy from mumbai . i am facing a real delimma . i ws going on wth this girl in baroda who stays close to my uncles house . she is 21. earlier i ws not serious abt the relation wth hr . we did go around fr around 3- 4 months .now i am dead seriouus abt hr .but the problem is tht hr family hs actually found hr a match . the girl is a rajhasthani . & the proposal hs come in from a sikh family . i am really upset abt all this . i did tried to speak wth the girl abt this . i did tell hr that i am serious abt this relation , however she says its too late now . the guy wth whom she is supposed to get married is a rich man earning around 16000 pm working fr ONGC.on the other hand i earn only 11000. perhaps the girl hs told hr family abt me that i am intrestd in hr . since than hr family hs actually started avoiding me . they d0nt allow hr to come on the phone so that i cld get the matter sorted out . i really dont know wtht to do . do u think it wld be good fr me to actually go & spk to my family abt the girl . Lokking at the girls behaviour it seems tht she is intrestd in me but i am not really sure abt it since she did say yes fr the marriage , perhaps it cld be under pressure . plseeeeeeeeeeee hepl me in this sitaution . waiting fr an urgent reply since the marriage is on the 20th of april .
wahe guru ji ka khalsa wahe guru ji ke fateh

(REPLY) Sat Nam. Do I understand correctly that you have not said anything to your parents about the girl? I think the only way you're going to be able to find out if the girl wants to marry you, or if she is happy about the match they have made for her, would be for you to have your parents (or your uncle?) approach her parents and find out the truth. Otherwise, you are just a guy, whom her family is obviously rejecting. This kind of situation happens over and over again in families that stick to tradition, and their kids start dating without telling their parents. It's a sad thing, and I know you feel bad. May God bless you and Guru guide you. SP