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Summary of Question:	Love Is Just An Emotion..
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 1/14/2004 11:27 AM MST

Wjkk Wjkf.

First off i would like to say a big gurfateh to all the great sangat who have helped set up this beautiful website, u are all wonderful examples of gursikhi sewa.
Just briefly, i would like to say iam not a lustful person (thanks to my last lifes karma i guess) and ive never been in the situation of falling head over heels for someone/wanting a one nights stand,etc. I did,in the past- make one mistake and i did get involved with someone (which i 'felt' was love)..but it didnt work out..since then i have been keeping myself occupied and most importantly- establishing a relationship/getting closer to akal purkh as much as possible. I have to say, life is wonderful..the love maharaj gives me is so much more purer and eternal than any emotion i can experience here on earth (not saying true love doesnt exist, i just feel it is over-rated/ not a common thing..one has to be extremely fortunate.)
I have recently, well a few years ago, gotten over this pain of the previous (and only) relationship (as mentioned) and recently i have been speaking to a lady..someone who wants to develope her love for sikhi/has an interest in sikhi. She is of anglo origin, and the fact she has this interest in sikhi has not only inspired me to be a better sikh, but i find this woman extrememly attractive within her inner being..her mind..her soul. I didnt call her penji- like all other sikh women i do- because i felt something for her..even before she told me about herself...i dnt know why..but the fact we got speaking was obiously karma (whether this is to be used an excuse to call it love, i would say no..but she must mean something to me right?) More importantly, after speaking to her for some time, i have fallen for her even more..i know its her light within..her desire for spiritual hunger..this is what is making me weak at the knees!
We talk on a regular basis..and although we havent met physically, i have seen her photo..and she is stunning, to say the least (but dnt get me wrong, its not the reason im falling for her..i couldnt care less what she looks like, to an extent of course- i feel physical attraction is an important factor in partnership, but not the be all end all.) The problem is she seems as interested in me as iam in her..(she says she wants a sikh partner in the future)..but she calls me brother. Now im confused. Naturally i was real upset and hurt..but i guess this is gurus way of saying shes a sister to me, and someone i have to help on this path..but in a brotherly way. But at the same time, i cant help but wonder about which lucky chardi kala singh will get to have her hand in marraige..and it pains me. Im not one to argue with wahegurus will- so if nothing is to come of it, then so be it. But what can i do to clear the situation? (i did mention to her that my feelings in the future lie in the heart..and although im her friend, whether my love developes into marraige, then i cant say.) I would most deinitely marry this woman.
I dnt want to date her or woo her..i want to marry her..simple as..and as time goes on, this feeling is only deepening..not getting any smaller..shes a friend and a spiritual partner at the same time..and someone i would love to spend my time with, for now and the future. I guess the only thing i can do is let nature take its course and let guru ji guide me. But can i have this hope in my heart when she is calling me brother?

(REPLY) Sat Nam. It would not be appropriate for her to consider you or call you anything except "brother" at this point in time. You have not yet met this woman, and when and if you do, start with friendship, and then see what happens. If you sincerely are trying to live according to guidance of God and Guru, then know that what is best will happen. Don't fall into the trap of your emotions, you know better! The best basis for a long lasting, happy marriage is mutual respect, mutual aspirations, and mutual values. So remember, Patience pays! Blessings, SP