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Summary of Question:	Family Issue
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Sunday, 12/11/2005 12:24 AM MST

Hello

I am a 24 yr old sikh female who needs help. I love my parents greatly and get along with them quite well. however i have 2 sisters, the oldest is 32 and the middle is 29. The middle sister and i get along greatly because she is my mentor in life. However the eldest one has made living at home very difficult. She is 32 college educated, yet makes my mother and father cry all the time with superficial complaints. she is married, my dad has bought her a house and he pays her mortgage as well. she is thankless. Instead of giving thanks to them she puts them down constantly and has mentally abused them to the point to where if i or my other sister try to explain to them our frustrations with the whole situation, they think we are turning against her. She has pickedon me my whole life, and has made it a point to only smile when those around her are crying. I dont know how or why god could create someone so evil, and it seems like she is getting evetrythign her way, while my sister and i are struggling to make something of ourselves she is being spoon fed. Why does it seem that people who have evil intentions or are not god fearing have life so much simpler? Please help. Are there some meditations or hymns that can calm me down to where i do not ruin my nature or my relationship with my parents because of her? Thank you.

---reply

It sounds like you need to pull away emotionally from your sister. Don't get involved with her commotions. Your parents are doing the best they can. The squeeky wheel gets the oil, but in this case she is probably also creaing a lot of bad karma for herself. Just let it go and don't get emotionally involved. I would either do Anand Sahib or Sukhmani every day or at least the past Pauri in Rehras, which starts with, "Tit too simrat." Repeat it 11 times a day with the intention of creating harmony within yourself. You need to be neutral. Don'[t waste your energy worrying about the dynamics between your sister and your parents. It doesn't mean that they love her more. It just is what it is. Live your life as the sweet, giving person you are and don't allow your sister pull you down...which probably means pulling away from her. Let us know how its going. Blessings. GTKK