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Summary of Question:	My Dad
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Monday, 4/30/2007 1:33 PM MDT

waheguru ji ka khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh!

i do not mean to sound judgemental by saying this but i have found that my father is a very judgemental person.he isnt a bad person, but he seems very quick to point out the wrong in people, and is quick to make judgements about people.

an example is that he gives the impression that he thinks i do not devote enough time to sikhi or he thinks im going to become like a lot of todays youth and get caught up in drinking, girls etc etc, when my whole daily routine,thinking patterns, attitude and outlook upon life all revolve around sikhi. i would never dare to call myself a gursikh,but i am trying hard to live in a way which would prove to god that i am worthy of the life he has given to me. But i keep these feelings very much to myself and i dont think my dad realises how important sikhi is to me.

my question is how do i confront him?it is not just me but its the same with my brother,sister and mom, we're all quite fearful when it comes to confronting him and pointing out his faults because a)we respect him and b) he just plays with his words in such a way that it leaves us thinking "there's no getting through to you!!" dont take this the wrong way, i have the utmost respect and love for my father and if it wasnt for the way he brought me up i would not have such strong love for sikhi. but, it's really getting to the point where i dont know what to do, please help!

<<<<< REPLY >>>>>

Wahe Guru Ji ka Khalsa
Wahe Guru Ji ki Fateh!

People who judge others are usually unhappy with themselves, but unwilling to be honest with themselves about it. There is only one solution. You must teach by example. Do not criticise him or point out his faults. Remember our Ardaas? "Blessed are those who see the faults of others and un-see them." Do not argue with him. Do not react to him. Just love him exactly as he is, and pray to Maharaj Ji for his happiness. You cannot change him. He will change himself or he will not. Your blessing can accelerate that change.

.....G