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Summary of Question:	Love Muslim
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Sunday, 11/02/2003 6:00 AM MST

Hello there,

I am seeking advice on sensitive issue of marriage. I am in love with a muslim gal, who happen to be my partner in several projects. She admires my appearance and never ever asked me to shave or even cut my hairs, which some punjabi gals demand when they fall in for a guy. She very much want to marry me, but at the same time she insist that she could not marry a non muslim. So she ask me to convert my religion, which we both know that its not an easy thing for both of us. We agree that we could not change our thought on this matter of belief at the sme time wanna be together. This is the worse situation. Tellme what is the solution to this. Be bachelor whole life or give away the thought of religion and get married.

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Sat Siri Akal.

This is a very difficult situation. I understand how painful it is to love someone and want to be with them when there are large obstacles in the way.

What you have to understand it that it is a very great gift and blessing to be born a Sikh of the Guru. You were born at the feet of the Guru and by living the path of the Guru, it will give you the strength to go through life's challenges. To change one's religion is a very huge decision in life. If one were to change one's religion, only makes sense if you are personally called to that religion by the Will of God. However, to change a religion because you are in love is folly and dangerous. The Guru teaches us that worldy love is impermanent and to not sacrifice Truth for it.

You are young and love is a very heady feeling. It is so strong and you cannot imagine living without her. But when you are older and life becomes more and more challenging, the wisdom of the Guru is the strength that will see you through those challenges. There is no woman worth giving up your Guru for. No matter how beautiful, how kind, how sweet - any woman who asks you to walk away from the Guru is poison.

Better that if you two truly love each other that you should try to have an inter-religious marriage where at least she is respecting your identity and your beliefs. Better that you marry and she stays a Muslim and you stay a Sikh. If she cannot marry you as you are - it will be a very bad time of it. And even an interreligious marriage will be difficult because the question will be how to raise the children. It is up to you to decide if you truly love this woman and a relationship with her is worth the hardships you will have to face together. However, I strongly caution you that the woman you marry should be someone who can accept you for who you are- not someone who wants you to change drastically to suit her.

I hope that this has been at least somewhat helpful. Good luck to you.

Much love,

GPK