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Summary of Question:	Re: Get Married (Response To The Moderator's Comments)
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 8/13/2003 8:49 AM MDT

I am writing in response to this child who thought the moderator was worng ??

I am a parent and I have already put a response for someone else. But for you, none of us are suggesting him to go against his parents. If you read all the comments/respnses on this subject - the last resort is to choose. Actually I am an adult & a parent I think (tell me moderators if I am incorrect) that when a youth puts something like this it is considered as the last resort.

To the child who wrote this, we should respect our parents and I agree parents are a form of GOD on this earth but then there are some (who I know are amritdhari) she beleives that spouse is the ultimate GOD and she mistreats her in-laws (who are in a way parents too) right! so badly that they got kicked out of the house and cannot drive and depend on others. Now what do you have to say about the husband who took spouse above his parents (supposedly his GOD). SO, it is how each one perceives it and yes I do beleive parents are GOD and also the parents of my spouse are GOD too who raised my spouse, so I should not stop him/her from respecting or choosing. But I guess if you ask the above mentioned person he would say I had to choose and I tried.

SO, please do not misunderstand (and it is only when we become parents that we realise what our parents meant) but choice should be the last resort. But some parents are very adament and do not like to talk/discuss, their word is the last but even those parents come around (sometimes after their kid has made his choice) - they might not come around in a year or so but believe me 90% of the parents do. So, this DOCTOR knows his parents better than anyone of us and depending upon their personality he can pick any of the variety of suggestions that fit his situations. We here can only suggest and respond putting ourselves in his place and/or the girls place.

So, argueing or discussing with your parents in my dictionary does not make you disrepectful it is called communicating - we do that all the time in our family and sometimes kids do have a point and they win but there are times that we reason enough that we are right and if they agree then they do what we as parents suggested.This is what you should try to instill in your life when you become a parent.(our parents always did what they thought was right and no questions asked, they are adults and they knew the best - myself and my spouse did not like this way of being raised so we changed our raising ways.Now, were our parents wrong depends who you ask and are we wrong also depends who you ask. Our parents do tell us that we are not doing the right thing - there should be no arguements between parent/child but that is how far they go as we are adults now ). So, think and we hope and pray that the DOCTOR's parents do understand and he can make them understand what he is going through and then decide what is right for him ;he not a teenager he is above 21 so he is considered an adult and is responsible for his actions and decisions.

Guru Mehar Kare.