Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	Need Some Advice/Counsel Please
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 1/17/2006 10:59 AM MST

Hello,

I am the guy who mailed you about a week ago about my ex-gf who left me after coming to usa. I know you people are busy with your lives too, and I really appreciate all you do here at SikhNet, but I would really appreciate a reply from you, or anyone else.

All the thoughts and memories about her are coming back to haunt me - I woke up just now after dreaming about her. It has been 3 months since she broke up but I still cant get over her. I loved her so so much. It was all so true for me - the same kind of love i have for my family and God. Why do I keep remembering her and missing her after all she did to me? Why is God continuously punishing me so? The next term at school has started but I'm just going about my tasks mechanically.

If you get the time, please do read through my earlier mails and this one and reply to me.
Thanks.
sat sri akal

(REPLY) Sat Nam. I understand how full of pain you feel. I do not agree, however, that it is the "same kind of love you have for your family and for God" although I believe that is what you think. There's a difference between romance and reality, and when the emotions are deeply entangled with another person, it is not easy to let go, and stop fantasizing about what could have been. If you want to stop suffering (do you?) then you have to focus your mind and your feelings on something more elevating, inspiring, uplifting -- such as reading from Siri Guru Granth Sahib! You can even do that on line, through the SikhNet website. You can take a hukam every day. Are you reading your banis? This whole entanglement with girlfriends, and even wives and husbands and families is a temporary experience that we are given here on Earth to work out our karma. Please, please, please meditate every morning, and pray for guidance. Believe me, time will heal your feelings. So many boys and even men, are caught in the spell of some female who ends up hurting them -- your best hope is to turn your attention to God -- and remember all this shall pass away, and the most important thing anyone can do in their life is establish a strong and conscious connection with your own soul. May God and Guru bless you with courage and wisdom to give up your fantasy and your suffering. SP