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Summary of Question:	Be With Girls?
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 8/09/2002 3:26 PM MDT

I know that you can't have sex before marriage. But is it 'ok' to kiss and touch other girls?

Thanks in advance for taking time to answering my question

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Sat Siri Akal.

Well, ji, this is a tough one. We live in a world that says of course it's OK to do these things. It feels good, doesn't it? And, as long as we don't cross that line into "sex" - then what's wrong with having a little fun?

But the problem is there's a huge possibility that someone is going to get really really hurt when you play around with sexuality and there's no committment behind it. When two people kiss and touch - it creates a deep intimiacy between them - mentally, emotionally and physically. The reason we reserve that intimacy for marriage is because the power behind those feelings is so strong - and the potential for something destructive to happen out of that is tremendous. There's a line in the Guru that says - for one sexual mistake , a person can suffer for millions of years. This isn't a threat. It's a statement of reality. Out of what seems like innocent exploration, someone can walk away with a broken heart that can take lifetimes to get over.

So - be very careful. If you have no intention to commit and marry the girl, then what you are doing is devaluing her by just wanting to "have fun." And in that, she'll wind up hurt and you may wind up hurt, too. The Guru was very wise when he told us to treat each other as brother and sister, unless we are married. He understood the power of sex to bond people together and how necessary it is to treat that power with respect.

Be conscious of what you are doing and be aware of how you are looking at other girls. I know it's difficult in today's world - with all the peer pressure going on. But if you refrain from kissing and touching unless you are in a very serious commited relationship (ideally a marriage), in the long run, you are will emerge as a stronger and wiser man for it.

Good luck to you and God bless.

GPK