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Summary of Question:	He Is Not There For His Daughter
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 5/23/2005 1:06 PM MDT

I have a beautiful 4 month old daughter. As you can see i am american. Her dad is from India. No we are not married. I need to know why is it that he does not care about his daughter. I know that is relgion plays a big part on it. The problem is that i am willing to learn what ever i need to about his hertiage and country. He is not even trying to let me in or to let me know information about him. Please help me if you can. Also i need to know what books i can get to help my daughter

---reply

Your situation is complicated. I will answer you the best I can, but I can only go from what you have told me. I am making assumptions and some of them may not be correct.

You got involved with an India man, had sex and got pregnant. He wanted the sex, but not the responsibility of marrying an American woman. His family is probably expecting him to marry an Indian girl, so his intentions were never to be committed to you. You got pregnant. That was never in his intention. His intention was probably to have fun with an American girl, have sex. In his eyes,your getting pregant ruined everything. That was not in his plan. Its no surprise that he doesn't want to have anything to do with you or your beautiful daughter. In the Indian culture, good Indian girls don't have sex before marriage, so Indian guys go looking for American girls that they consider to be "easy." I know what I am saying is harsh, but that is the reality for many, many Indian guys. The cultures are different. In the Indian culture, many parents choose their son's and daughter's spouses. He probbly was just "playing around" until he was ready for marriage. I'm sorry. My advise to you is to go on with your life. You can't force someone to love you. I don't know if you have legal rights because you are not married. You could look into it. If so, he is obligated to pay child support. If you want your daughter to know something about her heritage, go to the library. There are lots of books about India. Depending upon his religion, there are books about Hinduism, Sikhism, whatever there as well. Bless you. As a single mom, you have a challenge ahead of you. But, go on with your life. I hope this helped. GTKK