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Summary of Question:	Parents Breaking Up The Marriage
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Sunday, 8/22/2004 6:23 AM MDT

Dear Readers,

With this forum i would like to present my plight and story for everyone alike.I and my Wife met on the sikhnet chat and soon we found out that we have lots in common and that we are soulmates, she is born in UK and me in India, slowly our love grew and we became very attached to each other, finally i went to meet her in person and we knew that her parents wont agree so we decided to get married against her parents wishes which we did in toronto on 15th may, her parents were furious, they called us and told us that we should come back and they would get us married, she knew her parents good she said that she dosent want to go back but i convinced her that we should go back and so we went back and they changed, they put pressure on her and made her stay back, they asked me to cancel the wedding which i reluctantly said yes to and i came back to toronto, after ten days she realized that she cant stay without me so she came back without telling her parents,for three months we stayed together and by wahegurus wish she became pregnant, suddenly one fine day her parents called and started crying and babaji knows what they told her, she wanted to abort the 2 month old baby, which she did and after abortion she flew back to england.Her father blames me for spoiling her life. I want to know who is responsible for spoiling her life and mine?Which parents in this world suggest divorce and abortion to their daughter?Will the responsible people be punished for separating a soul and murdering our baby?Why isnt waheguru doing something even though he knows that a soul has been broken into 2?Is waheguru really there or is he just another form of mute spectator?CAN ANYONE IN THIS WORLD HELP ME GET BACK MY WIFE AND SOULMATE? I feel that i should take it upon myself to punish them for killing my baby and separating my wife from me which i woudl eventually do by way of going to courts and letting the whole world know what they have done, this is just a beginning, Is anyone from moga, baghepane who can insert their influence and make them understand to correct the mistakes before its too late? If anyone feels that they can help me then please contact me, i need the help of my sikh bretherns before i become a rebel, So please help me i wm willing to give my tel no to whoever who wishes to talk to me and help me out in this ordeal.
waheguru sab de naal hove

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Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh.

Normally, we would answer a post like this privately - but if there is anyone reading this post who can offer some moral and social support, please send in your email address.

Sikh daughters have a very difficult time. When they love someone and their parents do not approve - it puts them in the impossible position of having to choose between love and family. It is no one person's fault, but it is the fault of the entire society. No matter which path she walks, she looses.

There is no good outcome for you, for her or for the family - except that somehow you and she make the marriage work and the family comes to accept it. Unless your actions and her actions move in this direction, the only thing that can happen is misery for everyone involved. It is simple - you two love each other, you chose each other, you married and now you have to walk that path as her husband - even if it is very very difficult right now.

The key is to keep the communication going. Are you speaking with her? Talk to her if you can - find out what happened, listen to her, understand what the problems are so you can help her solve what is going on. Keep talking with her parents - find out what their issues are, seek to resolve them. Emotional warfare does not solve anything. You have to hold yourself with neutrality, diplomacy, grace and keep the dialogue going until you have her back and you have her family's blessing.

Have faith that in the Will of God this is possible. Pray the shabad Dhan Dhan Ram Das Guru for a miracle to happen. Don't give up, don't give in - but try to resolve the situation in a way that the love she has for you and the love she has for family is held in the highest integrity.

It is a difficult path that you are walking. But with Guru's grace, you may prevail. Pray for her, pray for her family, keep the communication going, don't give up, don't give in - be steady and persistent and let the hand of God guide you.

Our prayers and love are with you through this difficult time.

All love in the Divine,

GPK