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Summary of Question:	Unmarried- Non Virgins...Confusion
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 3/13/2002 2:28 PM MDT

sat sri akaal...i didnt understand your response to this question.

"Sat Siri Akaal. While the ideal for Sikhs might be to be virgins before marriage, you can be assured that it is not a requirement to be Sikh or to be married. That would be practically impossible.

Unmarried non-virgins are not 'bad' people! Sex is NOT a sin. Sex out of lust is one of the 5 'enemies' or 'passions' that a Sikh is encouraged to learn to control. Sex outside of marriage is often called a "sin" but Sikhi does not consider non-virgins 'bad' people, although there is no shortage of people out there would consider you to be bad because of this.

Many grooms insist that their brides be virgins, but that is applied one-sidedly. It is certainly NOT Sikh to INSIST that a bride be a virgin."

in sikhism it says you shoud not sleep with anyone before marriage. when you say it is not sikh to insist a bride be a virgin...im getting confused on this part. i believe men as well as women should not sleep with anyone before marriage. and if they have doen so their not living the life of a tru sikh as gurus taught. so thus as i hope i never sleep with anyone before marriage is it not fair to want a virign as a wife. and the same the other way round if a women has not slept with anyone before marriage she is totally entitled to want a virign husband. im just confused on what you mean by it is not sikh to insist a bride be a virgin. i thought a tru gursikh should be entitiled to a virgin wife or husband.

lastly if one individual is a virgin and the other is not, is it wrong not to marry them because of this. or shoud you just accept it.

its common these days for men and women to have slept with someone before marrige even amongst sikhs. though i wouldnt sleep wid anyone ive accepted theres every chance my wife will have. i dnt mind because i just think thats life. is that the right attitude or am i in my rights to want a virgin wife. either way i dnt think ill get one.

just your thughts please.
sendeep singh

Greetings and blessings to you in the NAme of God and Guru.

Wow! you have a lot going on in your mind. So many people live their lives for convenience. It is a rare person that truely follows the order of the Guru. If you are that person that does follow the instruction of the Guru, then consider yourself very blessed. You need only to judge yourself. Do your best to be a gracious and graceful person.

People make mistakes and people change both for better or for worse. Best for you to maintain your grace both in your behevior and try not to judge those that cannot maintain their grace. Continue to be an example of balance and committment. Those around you whom you describe could have a change of mind and heart. It is all in the will of God and Guru. You can read about this in the Siri Guru Granth Sahib.

God bless you and
Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa
Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh..................victory belongs to the pure ones....all victory is HIS
Sat Kirin Kaur Khalsa