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Summary of Question:	Monogamy
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 9/25/2002 7:00 AM MDT

Some input from SikhNet readers on the question of monogamy:

(posted by GSKK)

Dear moderators,
Wjkk, Wjkf!
I came across this question on Monogamy on your site & was flabbergasted at the inaccuracy of the answer!
No Guru had more then one wife! The traditon in the indian culture was that there were 2-3 ceremonies for the marriage to be complete.The "rishta" was done at a tender age & when the girl was old enough( came to puberty) to be married then the engagement ceremony followed by the marriage ceremony would take place.Also you have to remember that according to the old tradition , the young bride got a new name after marriage & hence the confusion of so many wives of our gurus!
It is simply a matter of Faith..........I cannot simply digest this & also the history has proof that no Guru asked us to do something & did another themselves..........it does not gel with our history or with the Sikh way of life......... if the Guru asked us to give our heads to receive "Amrit" gurusahib made those sacfrices himself before he partook "Amrit".We know the history.
My request is to please be a bit more responsible before answering.....you are shaping the minds of many young kids & they are our future.
Many thanks!

Below is your answer & the question asked ...........

Q- To my understanding, sikhism believes in monogamy, but then why did the sixth and tenth guru each have three wives?

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Sat Siri Akal.

That's a really good question and one that stumps me, as well. Why the heck DID they have more than one wife, anyway? I've heard lots of answers on this one. First, that fathers offered their daughters as "gifts" and, out of respect, Guru Hargobind ji couldn't politely turn them down. Also there's the tried and true response, "The Gurus knew what they were doing and we just have to trust their wisdom on this." But I think for all of us who believe in monogamy, it would be nice if we could understand why our Gurus taught monogamy, but in rare instances, didn't keep to it, themselves.

Also- I don't believe that it is historically accurate that the Tenth Guru had three wives. I believe he had two wives and only one of those wives had any children - leading to the belief among some historians that, while Guru Gobind Singh had a second wife, he never consumated that particular relationship.

The important thing to note is that eight of our Gurus did keep with monogamy and this is a very primary teaching in the Sikh tradition. So it may just be that we need to be comfortable with not knowing the answer on this one.

If there's a Sikh historian reading this, we invite your input on the subject.

God bless.

GPK