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Summary of Question:	My Boyfriend..
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 8/20/2001 4:00 PM MDT

i'm 15 and i drink...not all the time..but usually at partiez and when i'm wiv my boyfriend (he'z not sikh)...i've had sex wiv him..but its usually been after a drink...i've tried so hard not to do it...becuz i kno that i am too young...he has a way of manipulating me i guess...i luv him...but wut shud i do...

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REPLY
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Dear One:

You know exactly what you should do. Stop being so foolish! Are you going to marry this fellow?

Do you care that you are Sikh? If you don't care about being Sikh, then do what you want, but it will still only bring you pain. It is rare that your boyfriend when you are 15 will be your husband, and so you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. Are you so insecure that you feel you must have sex to prove something to yourself or this fellow or others? Are you so afraid of being Sikh that you feel you must drink and risk your physical, mental, and emotional health to be the same as your peers? Ask yourself these questions in a quiet, sober moment, and see what answers you get.

And now that you've had sex, if you refuse sex with this boy, what will he do? What if he abuses you for sex, have you thought about that possibility, since you said he manipulates you? Why are you letting him walk all over you? Is this how you want your husband to treat you someday? Stand up for yourself!


If you care, really, about being Sikh and about following teachings of the Sikh Gurus, then stop drinking, stop having sex, and start living like a Sikh of the Guru. This Website is full of information on living as a Sikh, on why we practice as we do, and on how to deal with being young and Sikh. The CHOICE is all yours, and I can tell from your post that you KNOW this inside.

Guru ang sang,
-DKK