Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	Losing Temper With Husband
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Thursday, 7/17/2003 11:09 AM MDT

waheguru ji ka khalsa

waheguru ji ki fateh

thank u in advance for providing an opportunity to express my problem.

My husband and I r very short tempered.We have been this way all our lives.We have been married for a year now and r facing this problem nearly everyday which leads to fights.

We love each other a lot,roam around and enjoy together also a lot.I mean,if u would meet us u wouldnt be able to guess that we can fight so much or that we r sooooooooooo impatient.We end up forgetting what we r speaking when we get angry and say things which would hurt the other person also a lot.Words said in the past keep troubling me later also and then I get angry all over again.Later when we calm down and come back to our senses,we realise what a big blunder we have done.

I also get very troubled by what people say.My husband tries to pacify me by saying that u have no control over people,so dont be concerned by them.Still I get very hurt when we do good to people and they turn back and say bad things.

The reason I ask for help is that after one year of marriage we both feel that together we could have done so much with our lives but we r unfortunately standing in the same place and havent been able to progress as much.We r both very much aware that we have got the best in life and how much ever we thank Waheguruji ,it is still less.

What should I do to help me spent time doing paath and having a good routine in life rather than spoiling my relationship by fighting?

Thank u very much for ur time.
May Waheguru shower HIS blessings on all of us.

----

It takes 2 to fight. You decide that you are not going to fight...no matter what. When you start to feel that you are going to loose your temper, walk out of the room, go for a walk, get a drink of water. Talk to the Guru, talk to a counselor, get anger management training...in other words, take responsibility for your own lack of control. If your spouse will go for couples counseling, great, do it. Otherwise, don't allow yourself to continue to lower yourself, degrade yourself. Don't blame anyone else...do it yourself. Good Luck. GTKK